


Crimson Week

by Wolpertingerding



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: F/M, Gender Neutral MC - Freeform, M/M, discussion of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolpertingerding/pseuds/Wolpertingerding
Summary: It's Crimson Week in the Devildom. Seven glorious, free days. But instead of rest and relaxation, our hapless MC gets roped into going out with one demon brother on each day. Dating demons in hell, what could go wrong?
Comments: 7
Kudos: 126





	Crimson Week

**Author's Note:**

> The MC is nameless and gender neutral (if I didn't insert a pronoun somewhere by mistake), but not a complete cypher.
> 
> I'm not a native speaker, so prepare for grammar trouble.

**Crimson Week**

"Satan, are you home?" I knocked on his door while precariously balancing a stack of books.

The door opened, and the blonde demon gave me one of his trademark smiles: overtly friendly, but with a strong undercurrent of menace.

He said, "Good afternoon. Can I help you with anything?"

"As a matter of fact, you can." I raised the assemblage of books, which caused the uppermost volumes to wobble dangerously. With a few panicked steps, I tried to right my leaning tower of paper. Satan apparently had a similar idea and moved forward to catch the tomes. We ended face to face, the books stuck between us. Up close, I noticed how long his lashes were and the sparks of yellow in his green eyes.

He cleared his throat. "Careful, these look expensive," he said and took hold of my collection of books. His cheeks were flushed. He continued, "So, other than trying to destroy ancient knowledge, what did you need me for?"

"Right, sorry." I picked up one of the leather-bound tomes and opened it. It showed a woodcut of a tiny person inside a bottle. Arcane symbols surrounded the dwarf.

I said, "This alchemy stuff… I haven't used chemistry since high school, and this is not only chemistry, it's chemistry based on symbolism. It feels like I'm trying to speak a language that consists only of metaphors. I'm lost and, well, you seemed like the right person to ask for help."

"I can say with confidence that I am that person. Come on in. I'd love to help you."

As always, I wasn't sure if he was really happy to assist me or if he had some hidden agenda, but I needed all the help I could get or I would fail the class.

Two hours later, I had a raging headache and a deeper understanding of alchemy. We had circled back to the basics again and again, until I had finally grasped it. Satan was a surprisingly patient teacher - which he blamed on tutoring Mammon - but he did not allow slacking off.

I said, "So the red dragon swallows the moon, and… that means… the egg undergoes iosis?"

Satan nodded. "Well done. You could have taken a slightly more elegant route in your formula here and here, but refinement of you strategy can come later. Leave the books with me, I'll add some notes and return them to you."

"I'm not going to major in alchemy, so I can live with being an unrefined piece of lead. Thank you so much, at least my homework won't be a total failure. I owe you a big one." I started collecting my things, happy I didn't need to lug the heavy tomes back to my room.

"Funny you say that." This time, there was clearly something sinister about his smile. "I never said my help was free."

I sighed. "Fine. Be like Mammon if you have to. How about I make you dinner sometime? You did seem to like those scones I made for tea."

He scoffed. "You're mistaking me for Beel. No, I have something else in mind. As you might know, there is a major holiday coming up. It's a celebration of the establishment of the Ninth Circle and the friendship with Purgatory. It's called 'Crimson Week', and we won't have classes during this time. It is a great opportunity to spend time together, so I will take you out on a date."

"You mean like when we watched the Blood Moon, or went to the animal café? Always, you know I had a great time. You just need to ask, you know."

Satan's smile dropped into a frown. He rubbed his forehead. "Sure. Let's say like those times. But there might be some… alterations."

"Yes, yes, fine with me." All I wanted was to fall into my soft bed.

"Well, I'll take your word for it. Just remember you agreed." He was back to his old smiling self as he opened the door for me.

I chose not to think to hard about what that was supposed to mean. My brain needed a break.

I said, "Send me a message when you have a date for, well, the date."

"I will." His eyes narrowed, as he poked his head outside. "Just don't tell my…"

"YOU ARE GOING ON A WHAT?" Mammon barreled down the hallway towards us. His sunglasses sat askew on his nose.

"Not gonna happen, no fucking way!" He squeezed himself between me and Satan. "I shoulda known not to take my eyes of you, you traitor. I thought Wrath was supposed to be direct and stuff, instead you stab us in the back."

Satan's smile showed too many teeth. "Do you want me to remind you _why_ I am the Avatar of Wrath? You might be older, but how are your chances when push comes to shove?" He folded his arms and smiled his warmest smile. "But it seems I _am_ more direct than you. I simply asked for a date and it was granted. While you would surely never date a human anyway, would you?"

"Of course I would… not, I mean I, totally maybe…" Mammon's mumbling became more and more incomprehensible as he covered his mouth with his hands. His burning cheeks were still visible.

A new voice interrupted Satan's reply. "What's going on here? I'm live-streaming, I can't have you normies screaming in the background." Leviathan stepped out of his room, headset still around his neck.

This was getting ridiculous. It also wasn't helping my migraine.

"They are going on a date!" Mammon waved his finger in Satan's direction, who rolled his eyes.

"So? Sad you chickened out and didn't ask first?" Levi giggled.

"What? It's not about… I totally would have… no, wait!" Mammon interrupted himself. "Think about it, Levi, if they really go out GO OUT, what about your special friendship and your whatshisname… Henry… stuff? Think you'll still have time to play games and listen to that idol shit together?"

Levi's eyes widened. He rushed over to me and grabbed my arms. "That won't happen, right? We'll always be best friends?" I opened my mouth to reassure him, but he kept talking. "No. No. That's not enough. Think, Levi, what did protag-kun do in _I'm the Chosen One in my Magical School so all the Hot Witches want me_ when his rival asked out his childhood friend?" Suddenly, his face brightened. "Oh! You also go on a date with me! This way, you'll know what you'd miss if you dated some bookworm."

"What the hell? That's not what I meant!" Mammon shoved Levi aside and turned to me. He took a deep breath and shouted, "You go out with them, you also go out with me!"

Both men stared at me. Their faces were so close to mine, our noses nearly touched.

I resolutely pushed them away from me. I said, "Fine! Date time! I go out with everyone! But right now, I go back to my room. These books are heavy and my head is killing me."

I turned around to finally make my escape. I was stopped dead in my tracks, when a voice on my right called, "Wait!" Simultaneously, a sudden weight clung to my left arm. Unsure on where to focus, my head swivelled from one side to the other.

On the right, Beelzebub and Belphegor had rounded the corner. Belphegor glared at us, one hand outstretched as if he were commanding us to stop.

On the left, Asmodeus had somehow materialized out of the void, threaded his arm through mine, and now smiled sweetly at me.

"Oh, what do my red ears hear? My darling love is going on a date with _everyone_? My, we are going to have _so much fun._ " Asmo's eyes glittered. He bit his tongue and grinned.

"Stop your groping, Asmo, before I get sick." Belphie had shoved his way through the others to reach me - or, to be precise, Beel had gently put his arms between Mammon and Levi, and then simply opened them, pushing his brothers away and ignoring their protest.

"So you go on dates with everyone and forget me?" Pouting, Belphie crossed his arms.

"No, I mean, I didn't…" I finally managed to shake Asmo off.

Belphie said, "And I guess everyone assumed Beel would take a step back as he always does, so no need to include him."

Beel opened his mouth, but his twin slowly shook his head. "No, you are going as well. I know you want to. Don't forget that we share some feelings."

"Brother." The big demon ruffled Belphie's black hair. "Thank you. I'd like to."

Satan loudly cleared his throat. "This posturing is unnecessary. There was an agreement to go on a date with me and me alone, so…"

"Oh, come on!" He was immediately shouted down from all sides. The cacophony rattled my skull, each sound felt like a tiny spike pushed directly into my brain.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Stunned silence followed my words. I took a deep breath, "Sorry. I didn't mean to invoke the pacts. I'm not used to that yet." Someone started to talk, and I raised one finger. "The second I hear a single word out of one of you, this thing is _off_ , are we clear?" Nodding all around. "Great. So, it'll be like this: each of you gets one day, and we go on a date. Planning is on you. No spying on other people's dates and for g… hell's sake, no sabotage. We'll start with the first day of Crimson Week, and go in this order…" I closed my eyes and pointed randomly. "...you, you, you, you, you, you. Understood? Good."

Asmo wrapped a strand of his hair around his finger and cocked his head to the side. "My, my, showing your teeth? Such dominance will have all of us eating out of your hand in no time. And the hand will only be the start."

I groaned and fled. As I was nearly out of earshot, I heard Mammon say: "Sooo… We ain't telling _him_ , are we?"

**Leviathan**

Turns out, Crimson Week wasn't the seven days of idleness I had looked forward to. Diavolo had prepared some activities to "give the exchange students a deeper understanding of Devildom culture", and after spending the first day listening to speeches about the importance of the Ninth Circle, and politely clapping, I was longing to fall into my bed.

I had just managed to slip into my lazy clothes and was ready to finish the day by doing absolutely nothing when someone knocked on my door.

With sigh of discontent, I cracked the door. "Yeah?"

It was Leviathan. He was biting his knuckles and stared intently at the ground. "Uhhh… You forgot, didn't you? Of course you did…"

"Forgot? Oh g… hell!" Blood rushed to my head. "The date! You were first, right? Sorry, the day was really busy. Can I take a rain check on this?"

His head dropped even deeper. "Of course. I know what that means. I waited the whole day to share something with you, something _special_ , but sure, of course you rather spend your time with anybody else… Who would want to do something with the weird otaku..."

I said, "It's not about… Look, Diavolo carted us to this political thing…"

"It's okay." He started slouching back to his room. " _I understand._ "

I groaned internally. He was laying one hell of a guilt trip on me, and even if that was not fair of him, I still felt like a total asshole.

"Levi, wait. It's fine. Just give me a minute to get ready, okay?"

He wheeled around and a smile lit up his face like the sun. Or the fires of hell, considering where I was.

"Hehe, I knew you couldn't stay away." Whatever dejection he had felt before was completely gone. "This is the most epic thing ever, I had to score like the deepest depths of EvilBay, and pay an unspeakable price, but it was so worth it. It came a few days ago, and I was totally patient and didn't even put it in the console, because I wanted to share it with you."

"Levi. Levi. Levi." I tried to interrupt him. "Slow down. So, we are playing a video game?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, of course, what did you think I was talking about?"

"I only need to know whether or not I have to change. I'm basically in my pajamas."

He seemed to fully take me in for the first time. His eyes widened and he spun around. With his back to me, he mumbled, "Uh, y-yeah, you can wear that, totally, doesn't feel like you spend the night at all, no…"

"Okay, great." I decided to ignore whatever fantasy was going through his head, and stepped into the hallway. "Let's go."

While we walked to his room, he kept glancing at me, his head getting progressively redder.

In an attempt to distract him, I said, "So, tell me about that game."

"Oh! Right. _Super Prince Castle Smash._ It's retro, but like a total classic, and for a good reason! A lot of what we consider the basics for immersive play came from that game. Buuuut…" He drew himself up and beamed with pride. "This isn't like _SPCS_ regular edition or even the anniversary super collector's box. Get this: this is the developer's beta built. There are only about five or so on the market at all! It's supposed to have some crazy ideas and secrets! Also, it's the only _SPCS_ that has a two player mode, with Prince Coffee and Princess Tea teaming up! And I really want you to be my Princess Tea!"

I wasn't as much into games as Levi was - well, only Levi was as much into games as Levi - but that sounded pretty cool. Maybe I could deal with a night of retro gaming, exhaustion notwithstanding.

We arrived in his room, and it seemed to be less messy than usual. The stacks of mangas and game cases had been put away. Also, I was pretty sure he had a poster of a bikini-clad Rui on the wall, as well as one of those mouse pads where you rested your arm on a girl's boobs, none of which were to be seen.

Levi pointed to a bean bag big enough for two. "Sit down!" In front of it, a mountain of snacks and cans of sodas so large it would satisfy Beel waited for us. I could feel my blood sugar spike just looking at it.

Levi had hooked up an old-fashioned console to a flat-screen TV. The title screen was already playing. It showed two pixelated figures hopping up and down on a giant cup.

As I sat down, I realized that the bean bag chair was actually filled with water, which meant I kept sliding over to the heavier Levi no matter how often I moved away.

He was too excited about the game to notice we were almost snuggling. Probably for the best, as I felt awkward enough for both of us.

"Ready?" He was bouncing with barely contained energy.

"Yeah, let's go!" The last bounce nearly threw me in his lap. "Wait, where is my contr…"

The world went white. I blinked and blindly groped for something to hold on to, overcome with a feeling of vertigo. I had gone from sitting down to standing on my feet, feet clad in dainty high-heeled shoes, without any of the necessary steps in between, and my body was not happy.

"Whaa… What the…" My legs finally understood that they weren't folded anymore and stopped shaking, so that I could take a look at what I had grabbed in my distress. Or better, who had grabbed. "Uh, Levi?"

It was Levi, but instead of his casual clothes, he was wearing a pseudo-medieval set of _very_ tight white pants, and a brown shirt with puffy sleeves. Applications of coffee beans and cups adorned the clothes. His ensemble was crowned by a white hat that looked a lot like milk foam sprinkled with cocoa powder.

I burst out laughing.

Levi glared at me. "Prince Coffee has a VERY iconic design. Though Princess Tea is hotter… better. I mean better."

"Oh. Oh no." I took a step back and looked down. A low neckline, a porcelain white dress with a round skirt, painted with a blue floral design. A handle stuck to one side of the skirt, so that I appeared to be wearing an upside down teacup. I touched my head. Atop my hair sat what felt like a kettle.

I said, "Can't I be the prince? Pretty please?"

Levi crossed his arms. "Just so you know, Princess Tea is a very interesting character with a great moveset, andyoulookverycute."

His last words were jumbled. "What did you say?"

"N… nothing. So, uh, for a little backstory, so this is the Kingdom of Teatime, and Princess Tea's father, King Scone, was attacked…"

I looked around, while Levi rattled down something about muffins of power and angry cucumbers. The landscape consisted of simple shapes, but just as Levi's and my avatar, they were in much higher definition than the pixels on the start screen had suggested. A level plane stretched to all sides. In the distance, I could see a gigantic table with a castle on it, a castle made from cups and pots. In the other directions lay a green ocean, a mountain of white cubes with a silver spoon sticking in it, a garden filled with vegetables and fruit, and an assortment of cans and glasses filled with preserved food.

Levi had finished his lecture and followed my gaze. "We have to go through all these stages before we can get to Castle Cups. But this is a tutorial section, so let's try something… Can you get up to that platform?" A white rectangle floated through the air above us.

I frowned. "No way I can reach that!"

Levi just grinned. "Try jumping."

"In these heels? Yeah, if I break my legs, I know who has to push my wheelchair." I bent my knees.

And shot at least three meters in the sky.

"Whoa!" The teacup-dress billowed out and I gently floated back down. With a light 'clink' from my porcelain shoes, I landed on my feet. I returned Levi’s grin.

"That…" I jumped. "...is…" And jumped. "...super…" And jumped. "...fun!"

Levi's head nodded up and down as he followed my bouncing. Every time I vaulted over him, he blushed. I hoped the devs hadn't added an Easter egg about Princess Tea's underwear or he would have a stroke.

Time to release Levi from his suffering. I landed in front of the demon and stretched out both hands. "C'mon. Doesn't Prince Coffee have a jump?"

He bristled at that. "Of course he does! That's like a basic function of the gameplay! He can't float, but he can jump-dash, and…"

"Okay, okay, I get it! Jump with me!" I opened and closed my hands.

"Jump with…" He gingerly placed his fingers into mine. I could hear him murmur, "It's just VR, it's just VR."

And then, as sudden as we exploded into the air, a broad grin spread on his face. " _Splash of Milk Prince Coffee Dash Activate!"_ Wind buffeted my face as we rushed through the sky. Like dandelion seeds, we floated back to the ground.

"Combo moves! That was a dash followed by a float! We can combine our moves! Soooo cool!" screamed Levi as he wrenched me back into the air. I couldn't help but laugh, feeling like a kid who replays their favorite game on the playground.

It took a long time until we finally stopped hopping around like a pair of crazed bunnies.

Levi's face grew serious. "Time to get real. If we want to finish the game, we have to stop this button mashing. I haven't even shown you how the combat works."

"This isn't another of those games that you have to finish or are trapped there for all eternity, is it? And no dying in real life if we die here?" I flashed back to our time in the dating sim world. "And no Cerberus please."

Levi waved his hands. "No, no, no. Of course not, come on, these features didn't even exist back then. Dying just kind of tickles, and this build doesn't even have a limit on lives. So we can play as long or short as we want. _But we want to keep playing_ , right?"

"Alright, alright. I just hope this isn't one of those 50-hours games."

"No, it's retro, so of course it's pretty short. I could probably finish in two hours if I do a 100% run, but with a noob like you clinging to my neck…"

To complete my childish image, I stuck out my tongue at him. "You better hope Princess Tea can't damage her beloved Prince."

Levi stared at me for a moment, then covered his face with his arm. "Be... love…d..."

Well, at least psychological damage worked just fine.

We started our combat training with the simple enemies called Prickly Pickles that roamed most stages, and after I had splashed enough Pickles with hot tea to be up to the challenge, we proceeded to the bosses. We finished level after level, and contrary to his words, it was Levi who slowed us down. He insisted on hunting down secrets real and imagined. Every time we actually found one, he stopped to celebrate and lecture me on the differences to the other versions of SPCS.

Still, it was fun. And finally, we arrived at the gates of Castle Cups to battle Admiral Onion, splashing and dashing until he had shed all his layers and scrambled away as a mouse-sized onion.

I held my hand up for a high five and Levi clapped it. For a second he hesitated, and I thought he might go in for a hug. But before anything could happen, we were interrupted by an enormous anthropomorphic scone walking through the castle gate.

Its friendly mustachioed face beamed at us. "Prince Coffee, you are the savior of Teatime. Without you, there would be no more Earl of Grey and no Lady Fingers."

"Sure dad, your worthless daughter did nothing to help," I mumbled and was angrily hushed by Levi.

The scone said, "I have watched you travel with my dear daughter, and I noticed the love spreading between you like honey in chamomile tea. I will happily give you my daughter's hand in marriage. You may kiss the bride!" The scone froze, obviously waiting for us to do so.

And just like that, the light-hearted atmosphere of our adventure soured.

I tried a laugh. "I can see why they scrapped this part. I can't imagine many teenage boys kissing their gamer bros."

Meanwhile, Levi had turned white as a sheet, with two crimson spots on his cheeks.

"Sooo…" I said. "You don't need to kiss me, it's fine."

He shook his head. "No! We need to finish the game."

"Alright then. A quick peck should be enough!" With fake confidence, I sauntered over to him. Levi pinched his eyes shut.

"It's only VR," I could hear him say again.

I stood on tiptoes to reach his face, closed my eyes, leaned forward… and nearly toppled over when he whirled around and covered his mouth.

"I can't do it!"

Even though it was his choice to kiss me or not, this still stung.

I said, "It's okay, we just quit here, and you can finish the game with an NPC Princess Tea. You don't need to kiss me if you don't want to."

His hand was still clamped over his lips, when he looked over his shoulder at me. "No! It's not that, it just, I…" His shoulders drooped. He walked over to the edge of the giant table and sat down.

I followed, dangling my feet over the edge and looked at the virtual landscape deep below us. "It's okay, really. No explanation needed." I was unsure I even wanted one.

"It's not about… not liking you or…" Levi sighed. "It’s hard to explain. You know, in mangas there's this trope called a 'sibling complex', where the MC is in love with their siblings, like in _My brother was kidnapped by angels and now I have to travel through the realms so save his soul and confess my undying love_ or _My sister draws lewd paintings and she uses me to practice, am I a pervert?"_

I said, "Okay, that last one is straight up porn."

"It's art!" Levi shot me a dirty look before his face fell again. "But that's only hot and romantic on paper. In real life…"

My brain needed a few moments to catch up with his anime-references. "Oh! I get it. I think. But I mean, if you see me as a sibling, that's fine. It's sweet, even."

"That's not what I mean!" Exasperated, he waved his hands in the air. "Do you even read manga? It's like, I loved Lilith, but I never thought about her like that, I'm not one of _those_ otaku, you know, who keeps pervy loli statues and stuff!" He was getting more and more agitated.

I wanted to reach over, take him into my arms, and comfort him, but I was too afraid of complicating things even further. I said, "I see… So you think of my as a sibling, but you still want to, you know, do what the big scone said."

He slumped forward, and for a moment I worried he would simply drop off the edge of the table, even though jumping wouldn't spare him in this digital world.

In a small voice, he said, "I'm not delusional, I know you aren't Lilith, but… it feels like she is back with us now that you are here. Even _my_ social links leveled up! But if you are Lilith 2.0, why do I feel…" His voice trailed off.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. "Look, to be honest… I know you all loved Lilith, and she was very important to you, and it's great that she's my great-great-great and so on mother, but I'm not her, and it actually… it actually hurts when you or one of your brothers only sees me as some kind of carbon copy. I'm not Lilith 2.0. I'm me." Would that the devs had disabled feedback from my body. My heart beat painfully against my chest and even here, my palms were sweaty. I didn't want him to take my words the wrong way, as some kind of rejection, but this had bothered me since I had found out about my heritage. Still, it was hard to talk about an issue as convoluted as this, and I didn't want to take the joy of learning their sister's true fate from Levi or the others.

The demon's lip trembled as Levi stared at me, pale and red all at once. He hid behind his hands. "Oh devil, I was the normie all along! I total chose the dialogue option that was about me, not the one about you. You always choose the right thing for the other person! I'm such a noob! Where's my irl quickload?"

I wiped my hand against my dress and tried to decipher his otaku-speak. "Uh, I'm sorry?"

"No! I must restore balance! Think, think!" He'd started biting his fingers. A feverish sheen suffused his eyes.

Just to be safe, I slid a bit farther away.

Levi took a deep breath. "Yes. I can do it." He stretched his arms and his hands fluttered in a sequence of strange gestures.

"What is going on?" Confusion furrowed my brow. I felt just as lost as that one time my planned year as a foreign exchange student to a small country had turned to literal hell.

"I'm focusing my chi like in _Secret Moon Ninja Gals_." He pressed his palms together. "I am ready to kiss you now. I will show you my true intentions. I just hope the affection meter is high enough…"

He pushed himself closer to me. Contrary to his declaration, the quick rising and falling of his breast, his white-knuckled grip of the table, his wide-eyed stare all betrayed that he was terrified.

I was scared as well. One part of me considered pushing him off the ledge, but I knew that he would never forgive me for that. Another part thought that, hey, kissing this cute weirdo in a VR world wasn't the worst thing that could happen.

So instead of withdrawing, I decided to do what I had done in all my time in the Devildom: go with the flow. So I leaned in.

His lips were warm, and soft, and tasted slightly salty, like the sea. An unruly strand of hair tickled my forehead. Anxiety melted into excitement, as I marveled at how realistic the simulation was. I could feel him, smell him, touch him.

Smiling, I opened my eyes.

We weren't in the game anymore. Because of the stupid water chair, I had slid into Levi's arms. Apparently being so close had caused our real bodies to enact what our digital selves had done.

Levi realized what had happened a second later. He launched himself out off his seat and turned hectically left and right. "No, no, no. That shouldn't happen!"

The chair wobbled like a pudding at sea, throwing me off as well. I watched from below as Levi dove into his bed-tub and pulled his blankets over his head.

I pushed myself up on shaky legs and walked over. "Uhm. Are you okay, Levi? I didn't mean to disturb you."

His covers lifted enough so that his eyes were visible. "I'm not disturbed. It was just… too 3D for me." He vanished again. From somewhere in the depths of his hideout, I could hear, "But nice."

I took a breath. "Okay. I… I'll give you some space." Space that I also dearly needed.

I left and walked back to my room. My brain insisted in rotating through our talk, the kiss, the aftermath, with each rotation illuminating another awkward moment like a torturous picture show. No, don't think about that now, just take a shower and go to...

"Sooo, late night, huh? Was it Levi's date? Totally forgot, haha!" Mammon popped up so sudden, I let out a short scream.

He casually leaned on the wall. "So, whatcha do? Video games, I bet, pff, lame. And oh yeah, I was just on my way to the kitchen, total coincidence meeting ya, it's not like I would wait to see some stupid human."

I stopped and stared past him. "I think I broke Levi." Then I started walking again.

Mammon tried to stay in front of me. "Whatcha mean, broke him? Tell me ya trashed him in _Hell Brawler_. Nothing else happened. Right? RIGHT?"

**Asmodeus**

The next day, I was sitting down to a very late breakfast when Asmodeus hopped on the table next to my plate. "Well, my little kitten, I hear you had the most delightful night with Levi."

I groaned and held my head. "Whatever Mammon told you, it's not true."

"I know for a fact that Mr. Anaconda hasn't left his room yet and doesn't answer when I knock. It must be really serious if he can resist letting me in." Asmo plucked a cherry from my fruit salad, put it in his mouth, chewed with a look of concentration, pulled the stem out between his lips, and placed it on my table. It was tied into a tiny heart.

I said, "I don't even want to know what Mr. Anaconda means."

He pouted. "No comment on my excellent tongue skills? But don't worry, kitten, Levi will be fine. Give him time to shed his skin, and he might come out a new demon. But! Why are we even talking about him?" He threw his hands in the air. "This is our day, yours and mine. Well, mostly mine. I'll pick you up at five. No need to dress up too much, I'll give you..." He paused and smiled. "..everything you need."

Maybe a night out with Asmo was exactly what I needed to take my mind of the disaster that had been yesterday. I couldn't think of many scenarios that would lead to similar awkwardness when it came to Asmo. Embarrassment on the other hand...

I said, "Alright, but no orgies or sex parties or something like that, okay?"

His smile widened, and he cocked his head. "Oh kitten, don't pretend you wouldn't like a little orgy, provided the right participants were there."

Even though I was used to Asmo's banter, sometimes he still managed to crawl under my skin and pluck out some secrets. I hid my burning face behind my coffee cup, but he knew, oh, he knew.

Asmo smiled and waved my reservations away. "Nono, it'll be a night of beauty and desire, so tame and boring you'll ask for something a little more… extra… when was are done."

I mumbled, "I doubt it," but he just winked and fluttered away.

"First point of order: the spa." Asmo bowed with a flourish and pointed to the towering building in front of us. Stairs led up to an open entrance flanked by white and black marble pillars. Steam billowed out between them and flowed down into the street like a river of clouds.

" _That's_ a spa?" I eyed the reddish glow coming from the windows.

"Well, technically it's a bathhouse. A demonic bathhouse. But don't worry, I chose treatments that are safe for humans. And I will always be by your side, in case some nefarious demon tries to whisk you away." He slipped one arm around my waist. "Let's go inside. I promise you'll come out with skin so smooth you won't be able to stop touching yourself."

Regret was blossoming in my heart as we waded through the steam into the infernal spa.

The place was busy with demons of all size and shapes. Eyes, bulging, slit, or burning, followed our walk towards the changing room. Asmo simply smiled at their owners, and the demons shrunk away. It was a reminder that for all his playful behavior, Asmodeus was still a powerful fallen angel.

"Please don't say there is only one changing room." I sighed.

"I told you I won't leave you. But if you insist, I will turn around. No peeking!" He wagged a finger at me.

I wished he hadn't said that, because while I took my clothes off, the urge to look grew ever stronger. I finally gave in and risked a glance over my shoulder at his butt, over his smooth back, and up to his eyes.

Blood rushed to my head. Of course he knew I'd look. But him being Asmo, he put a hand to his cheek and lowered his gaze in mock modesty.

I hastily wrapped myself in my towel, and declared in a hoarse voice that I was ready.

"More than ready, I think," Asmo said and gently placed on hand on my shoulder to lead me to our next appointment.

This was going to be a long day.

Our destination was a cave beneath the bathhouse. Rough steps led into a natural pool of inky water. Asmo dipped one finger into the liquid, and swirling pink lights rose from the depths to circle his hand.

"They are tiny creatures of… some kind? They nibble all the imperfections off your skin." He moved his hand and they followed.

"And they won't eat me?" Visions of flesh-eating parasites played in my mind.

"No! Of course not. There might be some beauty to laying bare all that's under your skin, but I would prefer a less direct method. Step in!" He flung away his towel with a dramatic gesture, giving me a full view of his naked form. Again, I was unsuccessful in looking away.

Still, I waited until he turned away to slip into the pool myself. The water was warm enough to relax me, but not hot enough to go to my head. Glowing lights swarmed me. Their touch tickled lightly, and when I lifted my arm, I was relieved to see my flesh still intact.

I heard a splash next to me. Asmo had sunken under the surface. Just when I became concerned and leaned over to look for him, he emerged again. For a moment, the glowing water flowed over his skin, making it seem as if a light was shining from within him.

I burst out, "You look like an angel." Immediately, I regretted my choice of words.

He reclined and twirled one strand of hair around his finger. "Oh, I'm much more desirable than some boring angel. Don't compare me with those winged prudes." For a moment, something sharp and painful flashed in his eyes. It was gone as soon as it had appeared, once again replaced with his usual flirtatious expression.

He chuckled and splashed water in my direction. "But I'm trying very hard to make this about you, and here you are, wanting to talk about me. Not that I can fault you, I'm fascinating. Come on, now you try it, give the little stars an opportunity to treat your face. Close your eyes, though, if they get in there, you'll have rose-colored glasses for the rest of the day."

Next was an oil massage where I politely declined Asmodeus help, face masks, manicure, hair, and make-up, all the while warding off innuendo-laden banter. Back in the changing room, Asmodeus pointed out a present he had brought me: a new outfit.

He said, "I was so tempted to buy you something a little more extravagant, but I tried to really get into your head and choose an outfit more in line with what you usually wear. Only, you know, better."

I had just finished changing. "Are you implying I suck at picking out clothes?"

"No! You do just fine, but you aren't as perfect as me. Well, who is?" He put his hands on my shoulders and looked into the mirror beside me. My reflection made it hard for me to be insulted. The clothes complimented my body in the best way possible. Even the parts I had been insecure about my whole life suddenly didn't seem so bad.

I turned around to catch a glimpse of my butt. "I might just ask you for help the next time I go shopping."

"Always! I want to see you in all possible outfits. Formal, casual, lingerie… Ooh! How about something lacy?"

"Don't ruin it," I said, though the idea wasn't as unappealing as it had been yesterday. I gave myself another once-over. For the first time ever, I felt like winking at my mirror image.

Asmo said, "This is my creation, how could I ruin it? Let's go out and show the world how gorgeous you are. Try not to seduce too many incubi, will you?" Asmodeus linked his arm with mine and we strolled out into the night, ready to conquer whatever or whoever we wanted.

"Wait, I know this place." We were looking at an enormous demon face, mouth open and tongue lolling, daring you to walk into its maw, which was also a door. Naked bodies and winged demons writhed on the facade. "I saw it in old pictures. From Paris, I think."

Asmodeus clapped his hands. "Oh wow, you are so well informed, no wonder my baby Satan wants to study you in detail. Yes, this is the _Cabaret L'Enfer._ Not that long ago, it existed both here, and on Earth. At a certain time at night, demons and humans shared this space. Oh, the debauchery, the delicious sins!" He clasped his chest. "It was exhilarating. Sadly, you humans demolished it for a supermarket or something."

I said, "Too bad, I'd have liked to meet other humans. Pass on the debauchery, though."

"And yet, in we go." He took my hand and dragged me into the mouth of hell.

Heat and noise struck me with near physical force. Music vibrated through my bones, not even bothering with my ears. I held on tight to Asmo's hand as we weaved through the crowd.

"Asmobaby!" I heard from all sides. Demons both humanoid and monstrous flocked to us, exchanging greetings and small talk with Asmodeus. Strangely, they seemed friendlier than a lot of demons I'd met and likely didn't refer to eating when they told me they could "just gobble me up like the snack I was". I still declined the offer to go to the backroom with a many-breasted man covered in glittering feathers.

On a stage, a creature I assumed to be a centipede danced a cancan. When it threw one row of legs up in a wave, I noticed they were human. I also noticed that it was not wearing underwear.

In front of the stage, a throng of demons were dancing, and I realized that was where we were headed as well.

"We could watch the show, but I want to dan… Whoops!" Asmo pulled me closer, as a spiked monstrosity in a golden dress twirled past us. "Just follow my lead, I'll see that nobody flattens us."

He slid his hand down to my lower back, took my hand, and we were moving. I craned my neck to keep the other dancers in my view and avoid another near-collision. Asmo clicked his tongue, and placed his fingers under my chin to turn my head back to him.

He said, "Only look into my eyes, let me do the rest."

At first the intense eye contact made me uncomfortable, but soon my discomfort dissipated. I let his touches guide me, let the bone-deep rhythm take over, moved, turned, bend, in ways I wouldn't have thought possible. And his shining golden eyes were the fixed stars in this whirling sky.

It was like awaking from a dream when the music slowed down and the lights became brighter.

Asmo laughed. "Oh no! I didn't know they even had a closing time! Let's head home, kitten. Or do you want to spend the night in their private rooms?"

Now that the spell had worn off, exhaustion took over.

I said, "Only if I can fall asleep there. I don't think I can manage anything else."

He sighed theatrically. "Fine, break my poor heart."

The cool night air refreshed me a little. We walked over to the dormitory, to a city that was waking up just as we were heading to bed.

In front of the House of Lamentation, I said, "Thank you, Asmo. Really. It was a fun day. I was afraid you were going to try and… you know… but you were a perfect gentleman. Aside from the flashing and innuendo."

"Well, if it was that much fun…" He smirked and I immediately regretted my words. "What do you say we finish the day with a good-night kiss? I think I deserve as much."

After a whole day with Asmodeus, the little angel of caution on my shoulder must have fallen asleep, because I could only ask myself: _Why the hell not?_

"Alright," I said.

Silently, he stepped closer. He gently ran his fingers along my face and down my neck. Ever so slowly, he leaned in, his lips teasing mine, until finally our mouth’s melted together. He tasted sweet, like nearly overripe fruit. Our tongues reenacted the earlier dance, each touch sending a shuddering pulse through my whole body.

I was gasping, when he broke the kiss. He pressed his cheek to mine. I could feel his breath tickling my ear.

"I could ask you for anything right now, and you would give it to me enthusiastically and of your free will. I won't. I'll leave you with this memory glowing inside you like an ember, and let it grow until the day you come to me…" He stepped back, leaving a cold distance between us. "And we burn together."

With that, he walked inside. I followed a moment later. I needed a shower. A million ice-cold showers.

"I wasn't asleep!" I was too distracted to be scared by Mammon. He jumped up from behind a big potted plant. One of the leaves had left an imprint on his cheek. "Aw man, my leg is all numb. Anyway, Asmo, huh? Bet he tried to get into your pants, but you blocked all that…"

I stopped listening. Instead I imagined his naked body in my bed, writhing, sweating and…

There really was sweat beading his brow. He blushed fiercely as he stumbled backwards. "Why are ya looking at me like this, human? I… I… would never, not with a human…"

And he was gone, dashing down the hallway as if Cerberus were on his heels. I groaned. He wasn't far off, I had slavered over him like a hell-hound over a nice bone. My libido needed a dampener.

A shower. And some alone-time.

**Satan**

The next day, I slept until the afternoon, and then, dehydrated and starving, dragged myself to the kitchen. I didn’t even bother to take my food to the dining room. I scarfed down my sandwich at the counter.

"Here you are. I knocked at you door earlier, but you didn’t answer." Satan looked at me with a slight crease between his eyebrows.

"Sorry, late night. I think I overexerted my body just a tiny bit yesterday." I winced as my leg cramped.

He shook his head. "I won’t even deign to speculate what that means. Are you too unwell to go out?" The hard line of his jaw betrayed his suppressed anger.

I was really tempted to say yes. I wanted to spend the rest of the day - and the night - curled up in front of the TV watching some light entertainment. Six dates during this week had sounded much less stressful when all this started, and I had only gone out with two of the brothers.

But, as always, my discomfort seemed less important than avoiding disappointing someone else.

I sighed. "It’s fine. I just need a little break."

Immediately, his face softened. "I didn’t mean for my invitation to escalate to this degree. But then those fools had to insert themselves…"

"Well, hanging out with Levi and Asmo was pretty fun. I _am_ curious to see what you have planned. But… if it involves moving around a lot, maybe replan?" I made a face.

He shook his head. "It’s tea and a... let’s call it a concert. Is this too inconvenient?"

I hoped the concert wouldn’t be too relaxing or I would only hear the overture. "No, that sounds lovely. Do I need to dress up?"

He said, "That is up to you. Neither is in a formal environment, but I would advise wearing at least comfortable shoes. I’ll pick you up in about two hours, if that suits you."

Comfortable shoes sounded heavenly. I shortly debated using the outfit Asmo had given me, but it felt like cheating on him. So I put something together myself. A little more daring than usual because after yesterday, I felt like showing off.

It was wasted on Satan, who only complimented my sensible shoes and launched into a discussion of the cultural significance of Crimson Week. I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but after Asmo's constant flattery, I had expected a little more ogling.

Satan took me to what appeared to be a sprawling greenhouse. Plants snaked through broken windows and had wrapped themselves tightly around tarnished metal girders. Glossy green foliage dangled over the entrance. I shuddered, as it brushed lightly against my cheeks. The leaves were warm and swayed even though there was no breeze.

A sweet smell hung in the air, flowery, but with a hint of decay. I blamed the lustrous flowers, that grew, thick and fleshy, amongst the greenery.

A hunched figure in a butler’s attire bowed to us. The face was wrinkled and browned like bark - no, I corrected myself, it was bark. It was a withered wooden face, moss growing on its head like hair. A pale maggot crawled out of its unmoving mouth.

"Master Satan. Please follow me." The voice creaked like overtaxed wood. The demon regarded me for a moment. "Will the… human be alright?"

"The human will be fine. I will guarantee it." Noticing my look of worry, Satan said, "This establishment is similar to the animal café we went to before. It is just a little more demonic. You seemed to enjoy the last time, so I chose this for our tea. Sadly, there is no hedgehog here." He seemed to be genuinely distraught by this fact.

Before I could even ask what "a little more demonic" meant, a colossal bird pushed through the trees. If I had to guess, this was how the missing link between a velociraptor and an ostrich looked like. Thick legs with wicked talons, underdeveloped wings, short ash-colored feathers. The beak alone was half the size of my body and when it opened into a yawn, I could see a row of jagged teeth.

"Let me show you something." Satan stepped in front of the bird, who cocked his head and scrutinized him with yellow eyes. The bird - and I - jumped as the demon sharply clapped his hands. The startled creature cawed, ruffled its feathers, and suddenly a brilliant fiery aura appeared around its body. Red and blue flames danced and formed hypnotic patterns. I stared for a moment, transfixed. Something bugged me, though, and it took me a moment to realize what it was: there was no heat and the plants around the bird were not immolated.

Satan said, "It’s an illusion, a protective display to deter predators. That's why it is called a Pseudo-Phoenix."

"That thing has predators? Hopefully, I never meet them," I said. "But it is beautiful."

Satan smiled. "It is, isn’t it? And here in the Devildom, there is always something more deadly than you around the corner."

"So no petting the animals, I guess." The bird had doused his fire-display and now kept a wary eye on us.

Satan said, "If you want to, you can. They are well-fed here and rarely attack when they aren't hunting. Come." He placed one hand on the creatures beak and waved me over with the other. I was just as cautious as the Pseudo-Phoenix. It couldn't easily bite me with Satan holding it back, but it could very well gore me with its large claws. On the other hand, I had done much more risky stuff during my time in the Devildom, I could probably handle petting an overgrown chicken. So I gingerly brushed my fingers against its neck and after I didn't find myself disemboweled, stroked the soft feathers. The animal huffed, and lowered its head.

I said, "They don't pet you very often, do they?"

Satan gave me a wry smile. "I am not sure whether this is a personality trait only you have or an universal constant among humans, but you do seem to feel the need to take care of everyone, even monsters."

"It's called empathy and so what if I do," I said indignantly. I had always thought of that as a positive quality. Maybe not every ugly creature had a heart of gold beneath its dusty feathers, but shouldn't you take that chance?

Satan patted the big animal's beak, and it shuffled off into the bushes. He said, "It wasn't meant to be an insult. I find it strangely endearing. Not many demons possess that ability."

I said, "They don't?" Unasked went the real question: What about you and your brothers?

Instead of a reply, he simply said, "Let's have some tea."

In a five-sided pavillon, a table had been set up. There was, of course, an étagère with sandwiches and cake, as well as a teapot and cups. More unusual was the large porcelain bowl decorated with the same flowery motif as the other China, filled to the brim with pieces of raw meat.

"Does that go in the tea?" I asked. I very much did not want to try traditional demonic blood tea.

"That? No. That is in case you wish to feed the animals and plants." Satan absentmindedly poked a tiny heart, maybe from a rabbit.

"Wait, the plants?" I studied the grass and bushes around us. None seemed to have teeth.

He picked up the heart and flicked it at a white flower. Tiny petals shut around the morsel. Closed, it looked like an innocent bud. When it opened again, only bloody specks remained from the meat.

"Why is everything here equally beautiful and disgusting?" I asked.

Satan gave me a brilliant smile, and I realized how he might misinterpret my words.

"Tea?" Satan said and proceeded to pour me a cup. Before I could attempt an apology, we were interrupted by a horse made of shadows and smoke. It trotted through our table, gaining just enough corporeality to devour a cucumber sandwich before vanishing through the wall.

A flock of skeletal birds noisily landed on a nearby tree. They pecked at the mushrooms growing on the trunk. The plants released clouds of luminous spores that hung in the air like a tiny milky way.

The tea was fragrant, the cake was good, and we talked both about the infernal creatures that roamed the greenhouse and the less strange animals that could be found in the human realm. They seemed boring compared to pseudo-phoenixes and shadow-horses, but apparently Satan thought differently. I soon had to promise to send a number of cat videos forward to his DDD.

Finally, he said, "Ah, it’s time to go. The full moon will be out soon."

"To the concert?" I said. "Or will someone here turn into a werewolf?"

He raised one eyebrow. "Werewolves are sentient beings, it would be highly unethical to keep them in here."

I pondered our visit in to the greenhouse while the wooden servant guided us outside. Once again, I was struck by how alien and still familiar everything here in the Devildom was. Blossoms that devoured flesh, prehistoric birds that just wanted to be petted. Everything seemed twisted in some way. I wondered if that was true for the brothers as well and was glad that I was with Satan, who was one of the less dramatic demons.

We hailed one of the driverless vintage cars that silently roamed the streets of the Devildom.

Inside, Satan said, "I will tell you a story and I promise it pertains to our situation." I nodded, and he continued, "Many centuries ago, there lived a siren whose song was so powerful, it would not only entrance minds, but souls as well. As you can imagine, this was highly desirable to us demons, and one demoness set out to seduce the siren and take her powers for her own. She was successful and lured the besotten siren to the Devildom, where she planned to sacrifice her. But, being a demon, she couldn't resist gloating. When the siren understood that she had been deceived and the demoness did not love her, she sang a song of rage and pain, so strong that it destroyed everything the demoness was, down to her core, or soul, or whatever it is we demons possess. When the last note faded away, the demoness had turned to stone. But the siren could not forget the love she had felt, and in her mourning, she once again raised her voice. It was a melody of sadness, and when it ended, so did the siren. She had turned to stone just as her lover had."

I let the story sink in for a moment, and then asked, "Do you feel for them?"

"Let's just say I understand how the siren's first song felt like." He avoided my gaze. "But that's not why I told you the story. I did some research, and the siren is still around. Or at least her petrified body is. During the full moon every seven years, she will sing, and it is said that her song is so beautiful, it will resonate in your soul."

"As long as she won't turn us to stone," I said. "And weren't you lucky your date fell on a full moon."

He smiled. "Well, to be honest, I switched with Mammon for an outrageous amount of money, which he probably already managed to waste. And no, we won't be ossified, I read reports from people who heard her song."

My rational side told me that listening to a heartbroken and mostly dead siren was still extremely dangerous, but then - would I ever get the opportunity to do something so crazy again?

I said, "Alright, I'm in. If I turn to stone, put me in the entrance hall where I can freak out Mammon."

"Only if you promise to move me in front of Lucifer's room every night, until he feels like he's going insane." We exchanged a mischievous smile.

Satan pointed out of the window. "And here we are. It will be a little way up this hill. Can you manage that?"

I managed. We followed an overgrown stone path up to the side of a mountain. A huge statue of a woman had been chiseled into the rock. Her head was bowed, and she had raised the folds of her coat in front of her face.

"We come to bear witness to the song of stone," Satan said.

With a rumbling that sounded deceptively like a deep sigh, the statue opened her arms. A passageway into the mountain became visible behind the carved fabric. While we passed under the statue, I looked up. Where the woman’s mouth should have been, there was only smooth stone. Her eyes followed me.

Satan held his hand out to me and we stepped inside. With his other hand, he raised his phone and let the flashlight shine ahead. It was a short tunnel, the walls glistening wet. They seemed to move as small critters fled the light.

The passage was only a few meters long. It opened into a cavern with most of its ceiling missing. The moon shone through the hole, huge and pale. Moss covered the floor, interspersed with tiny red flowers. A stream crossed the cave, parting around a small island, on which two humanoid figures could be seen. Both were stone statues. One was a kneeling woman, her face raised to the sky. Her features were covered in shadows. The other might have been a person once, but over the centuries, water had dripped down from the roof, one drip after the other, smoothing the rock until whoever had stood there was nothing but a shapeless lump.

I kept my silence. It felt somehow wrong to speak in this place. Satan seemed to have the same thought, because he quietly placed his jacket on the ground and gestured to me to sit down.

The moon crept over the sky. Its silvery light fell through the crack above us, inching forward and finally illuminating the face of the woman. The beams of the moon flowed over a face twisted in pain and sadness like shimmering tears. From the open mouth, voiceless just a second ago, emanated a tone. It built and built, into a complex melody that roiled around us in waves. It reminded me of every song that had touched my heart; my mother's simple lullaby that had taken away my fear and pain, the taunting rhyme my bully had used to hurt me, the choral at my grandmother's funeral, the folk song she sang to herself in her kitchen, the pop song that had soothed my heartbroken teenage self. And with these melodies came emotions, all welling up inside me so intense I could have burst in a million pieces. I laughed, and cried, and screamed.

The moon moved across the sky. Once again, darkness settled over the siren's face, and her voice faded away. A final tone lingered and died. The same exhausted quiet I would feel after a good cry settled over me. I took a deep breath and looked over to Satan. I had been too overwhelmed to pay any attention to him.

Maybe I should have. He had shifted into his demon form and was crouched over. His nails had dug into his scalp so deep, rivulets of blood were running over his forehead.

"S-Satan…?" I could hardly hear myself.

He looked up to me. For a moment, his green eyes reflected the light like those of a tiger.

"There is nothing inside. Only this fire." His bared teeth gleamed in the moonlight. "I tried to hide it beneath paper of all thing. Paper!" He laughed, a harsh and mirthless sound. "Foolish words. They will burn away like everything else, until I am back where I started, only mindless destruction."

Slowly, as not to set him of, I climbed to my feet. Should I run? Was there even a point in running? Talk to him. Get him to see sense. "Calm down, Satan. This isn't like…"

"Me? What do you know about me, human? Did you see me, during the war? Do you want me to tell you what I did?" Each word was punctuated by a step towards me. He stopped when he was right in front of me, looming over me. My brain scrambled for what to do, what to do, and my fight or flight instinct must have short-circuited, because I did neither and instead grabbed his face and kissed him.

He froze for a second, then he kissed me back, his mouth hot and hungry. His fingers raked through my hair and down my back as he pulled me into a too tight embrace. Lips and tongue travelled over my cheek, my neck, my shoulder, where teeth grazed me hard enough for a spike of pain to mix with the pleasure.

It might have been the constant flirting, or maybe leftover desire from my date with Asmodeus, but I wanted nothing more than for him to rip my clothes off and fuck me. _This is a terrible idea,_ my rational self objected.

Apparently Satan shared the sentiment. He stopped, and with a shudder pushed himself away from me. He took a step back, and with that, his demonic self melted away.

He pressed his shaking hand to his chest. "I must apologize. That was... inexcusable. If I hurt you…"

I touched my shoulder where he had bit me. "Let’s just say it didn’t feel bad in the heat of the moment."

"It didn't…" He shook his head. "I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing, but you really start to fit in here. But _please_ , you have a pact with me, use it. If you ever, no matter the circumstances, want me to stop, give me an order." He avoided my gaze when he added, "I can’t say I disliked what you did, but I don't think you are really aware of the risk you took."

The pact. I had only ever accidentally used it - and once with Solomon’s power on Asmodeus - so to intentionally control another person’s actions felt uncomfortable. To me, the pacts were more a mark of trust than a leash. Maybe I should start seeing them as an emergency brake for when their sins overwhelmed the brothers. I did trust them, but it was reassuring that I could stop them if things went too far. With the exception of Lucifer, of course.

Satan must have read my expression, because he shook his head again. "I can pick out a few magic tomes that explain pacts in greater detail for you. I can also help you refine your control. That is, if you trust me enough to be alone with me. I understand if that’s not the case."

"It was scary, but also… hot, so… Yeah, maybe I should learn more about pacts." Now it was my turn to blush. Why was talking about sex more embarrassing than the act itself? "So, yeah. I won't avoid you."

He smiled, relieved but with a hint of sadness. "I’m glad. And again, I'm sorry."

Eager to stop talking about myself, I asked, "What about you? Are you okay?"

"No," he said bluntly. "I worked hard for this level of restraint, and in a twist of irony, it makes me _very_ angry that I lost control. The siren's song is supposed to resonate with your soul, and all I felt was rage. It reminded me that at my core, that is all I am."

"Come on!" I burst out, a bit more forceful than intended. "Sorry. You just don't seem the type for self-pity. You know that you are much more than that. If you were some kind of mindless fury-monster, I wouldn't have kissed you."

He held out one hand to me and in a rare display of earnestness said, "I hope your compassion never leads you astray. I can't tell if it will help you or damn you. I just…" He didn't finish the sentence.

I took his hand and said, "For now, let's just go home."

When we arrived at the House of Lamentation, Satan stopped. "You go on ahead, I'll take a walk to clear my head. See you tomorrow?"

I nodded. I just wanted to sleep. Going on dates with demons was both mentally and physically exhausting.

Back inside, I spotted Mammon before he saw me. He was leaning against the wall, playing on his DDD or surfing the Infernet.

"Hey Mammon", I said.

He jumped and had to juggle his phone to prevent it from hitting the floor.

"Hey human, what a coincidence that I… What the fuck? Is that blood? Is that a _bite mark_?" His fake nonchalance was gone in an instant.

"It's not my blood, and it's okay, really, I'm fine." I tried to move past him into my room.

His hand shot out and grabbed my arm.

"Wait." All his grins and swagger had vanished. "Look, I know you think you have figured it all out and can take care of yourself, blahblahblah, but this place is fucking dangerous. And so are we. Just… y'know, take it seriously, and if you need help, don't be a total Lucifer, ask for it, okay? Free of charge for you."

Tears burned in my eyes. I put my hand on Mammon's and squeezed lightly. "Thank you. Really. It's good to know you are always there for me, Mammon."

He looked away, but his hand stayed where it was. "W-well, it's easy for the Great Mammon to help a simple human, I mean I have to, because we have a pact and all…"

"Good night, Mammon." I pulled my arm away and went into my room.

"Good night, human," I heard softly through the closed door.

**Belphegor**

The next day was once again filled with "Devildom Cultural Appreciation", this time geared towards the fine arts.

At the end of a short class in blood splatter painting, Belphegor approached me. His eyes half closed, he said, "It's my date today. Come to the attic room when you're ready to go to bed. I'll be there."

My affirmative smile was a bit strained. By now, I was fine being around Belphie, although I hadn't forgotten what he had done. I was close to give some excuse and take the day off, but then I remembered I had only yesterday forgiven Satan for his outburst. I'd have felt like a hypocrite if I didn't give Belphegor a chance.

As I climbed the stairs to the attic room, I wondered what Belphie had planned. I felt more apprehensive than excited and caught myself silently rehearsing a determined "Stop!".

At the top of the stairs, I peeked through the door and found Belphegor lying in a mountain of cushions and blankets. A strange smell of spices and lavender permeated the room. It tickled my nose and made me yawn.

Belphie waved to me, and I sat down next to him.

I summoned my fakest confidence and said, "So, what's going on?"

"We're going to sleep together." He smirked at my shocked face. "Not like that. Real sleeping. Do you know what lucid dreaming is? It means you can control your dreams."

Lucid dreaming… That sounded enticing. "You know, I always wanted to try that, but all the guides made it sound so complicated."

"Not with this incense. Just relax and enter your dreamworld. It's easy." Belphegor gave me a lazy smile. "But more importantly, we can link our dreams."

"Dreaming together, huh?" That on the other hand was less appealing. Most of my dreams were harmless jumbles of half-digested memories and pop culture, but others were more intimate. Deep in thought, I leaned back. The wonky stack of pillows shifted, and I flailed my arms wildly to keep my balance.

Belphegor lunged, hands outstretched, trying to catch me. Instinctively, I flinched away from him. The sudden movement meant I rolled off the pile. Luckily, right into more padding.

When I raised my head, Belphie’s hand still hung in the air, clutching nothing. His eyes were lowered, shadowed by his long lashes.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm okay. You scared me there for a moment. I guess I’m still a bit jumpy around you." I tried to play it off with a laugh and convinced neither myself nor him.

Belphie’s hand retreated. "Why can’t you just forget about what happened?"

"I… what?" Cold shock erupted in my gut. "Did you… did you just say I should forget what you did to me?"

He sunk deeper into his soft mountain. His eyes were fixed on the floor.

I clenched my fists. I could forgive Lucifer’s anger, I could forgive Levi and Satan losing control, I could even forgive Belphegor for strangling me, but him wiping away what he did as if it were nothing? This, I could not forgive.

"Forget? I remember everything! I remember trying to breathe, I remember the cracking sound of my ribs, I remember thinking 'this is it, I’ll die in hell and my parents will never even know what happened to me, and I will never see Venice', I remember how my vision went hazy, until there was only a tiny prick of light left. Then that was gone too. And you were laughing! You enjoyed it! I should get over it? I'm not the one who thought that genocide was a good answer to a loss!" I didn’t care that I had rushed past righteous anger and into vengeance mode. "You know what? Maybe you can forget so easily what you did, I can't. I'm out. If the others hate me for this, fine, so be it." I jumped up and stomped to the door.

"I remember." His voice stopped me. My hand on the doorknob, I turned around. He was half-hidden behind his cowhide pillow. "Of course I remember. Every time I look at you, I remember how your eyes turned dull and your body limp. I thought, this is justice, this will make me happy. But it was hollow. It didn’t change anything. And when I learned what truly happened, what you were, it felt like the answer I had been searching for all this time. And that's not all. Now, when I see you, I remember something else. I remember all the love I felt for humans, all the joy they gave me over the centuries.."

My rage crumbled to dust. "Then why didn’t you say something? You just… took me shopping."

"I… I wanted to," he whispered. "But it seemed so… big. How do you apologize for murder? It’s impossible. And what if you didn't forgive me? So I thought, if I treated you normal, it would be as if nothing happened. I could force you to forget. I could show you that you could trust me. That’s why I made the pact with you."

I let myself drop unto the heap of pillows. "Belphie, that’s not how the world works. You can’t make someone… make me... forgive you. You have to work for it."

"Work is hard." He pouted.

My anger rose again. Avatar of Sloth or not, he'd have to make an effort. "Well, then you have to decide if my friendship is worth the bother. Getting over being murdered is harder than an apology."

His violet eyes closed, and when he opened them again, he looked right at me. "I am sorry. Truly. I was trapped, and I couldn’t get out, and you had to take the brunt of my pain. I wanted an easy answer, although deep down I knew there was no answer and no easy way out."

I opened my mouth, but he shook his head. "I’m not done yet. And I want to be with you. You remind me that there is beauty and wonder in this world. You are change, you changed my brothers and you changed me. Thank you."

Heat rose to my cheeks. "Don’t overdo it."

He smiled and scratched his neck. "I’m making an effort. I have to overtake my brothers."

"Then you better keep up the work. It’ll take time until I can fully forgive you. And stop being so pushy." Arms crossed, I gave him a stern look. On the inside, I was flustered from his praise and not convinced I fully deserved it. This conversation was giving me whiplash.

"Then you will dream with me? We will understand each other in a way that is beyond words. That's another reason I wanted to do this. Please." He peered at me through the dark curtain of his hair, eyes gleaming with promise.

Defeated, I sighed. "What did I say about being pushy? But alright, I _am_ curious."

In reply, a true smile spread over his face. I tried, but I couldn’t resist smiling back.

He said, "Lie down. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply, relax. If you want to wake up, try to snap your fingers or read a book, it’s hard when you are dreaming and the frustration will kick you out of your dream. Now, I’ll take your hand, is that okay? We have to, if we want to dream together."

I moved my arm until our skin touched. His fingers softly brushed my hand, and then clasped it tightly. With a deep breath, I let go of my fear and allowed a feeling of protection take its place.

The thick smell of the incense curled around me, lifted me up, made me light. The world inhaled and exhaled with me. I was sinking, falling…

...falling! Wind howled around me, stung my eyes. Ice cold, wet clouds buffeted my face, and then there was the ground, far away, but rushing up, fast, so fast.

I screamed.

Something tucked at me. I turned my head to see Belphie, he was saying something, the wind was too loud, my scream was too loud. Belphie pulled me towards him, over him. One arm wrapped around me and he held me close.

"Fall forward." He spoke next to my ear.

_How?_ I thought, but I was already doing it. I wasn’t falling. I was moving forward. I was flying.

A laugh bubbled up from my throat. I was racing through the sky. Under me I could see the green fields and forests of my home, criss-crossed by highways which were spotted with colorful cars. Belphie let go off my body and I dragged him behind me like a kite.

My senses didn't work like they should. The world was fuzzy at its corners, only when I turned my attention to something, it would snap into focus. Houses and villages popped into existence, and one small town drew my attention.

"This is my grandma’s house," I shouted. The red clay shingles, the green shutters, the gnarled apple tree in the garden. The old kitchen with the gas stove, the plastic covers over the table, and a smell of soap and coffee. I could see it, even through the walls, and then we were inside, skipping the space in between.

"Whoa!" I said, and took a deep breath. We were sitting under the table, shrunken down to child-size. A scuffed plush sheep lay next to me.

"Now you know why I sleep so much. Dreaming is fun." Belphie squeezed my hand. He scrutinized the oversized furniture above him. "Is this what it feels like to be a child?"

"Right, you never were a child…" He picked up the plush toy.

"Well, after we are created, we need to learn some things, and we have a father, but I don’t think it’s the same." He touched the threadbare fur of the sheep.

"That’s Ewey. She has always protected me." I held her out to him, and he gingerly picked her up.

"These look like mine," he said, gently stroking the curled horns atop her head.

"It’s strange. When I was a kid, she was one of the most important things in my life, but now I’m not even sure if she’s still in my parent’s house."

He raised the toy and looked at it from below. "Have you been put aside and forgotten as well?" he asked the sheep. I could swear I heard her whisper back.

"In my imagination, she…" I trailed off as I noticed movement in the corner of my eye. The oven door had opened and shut again. I blinked. The oven blinked back.

I gripped Belphie’s arm. "About that imagination… I always thought the oven looked like it had a face." And now it did have a face. Not the two big knobs as eyes and the door as mouth, it had real, cartoon-eyes and lolling tongue that stretched as it yawned.

I said, "Everything in my grandma’s house seemed to be alive. Like, the oven was a chubby kid, the grandfather clock was a real grandfather and in the cellar…"

"Be careful," said a soft voice. I looked over to Belphie. The sheep in his hands wiggled and bleated, "It’s coming!"

"...in the cellar, there was a monster." I tugged at his arm. "Let’s go. I still have nightmares of going down there."

"...okay." He followed me out from under the table, towards the exit.

I could feel it, an electric tingling running down my neck, plucking at my spine. Something was behind me. The cellar door groaned, as it always did when it opened. I knew the monster was creeping out of its lair, a cold and damp presence closing in.

I could not turn around. All my nightmares had taught me one thing: if I turned around, it would catch me.

An icy caress slithered up my back. I squealed and turned around.

There it was. Tendrils of darkness, hints of eyes and fangs and claws, never clear, always changing.

I tried to retreat. My legs seemed to weigh a ton. Each step was torturously slow. The thing drifted closer, extinguishing all light and color in its wake. This was the moment I woke up, I always woke up. Not this time. This wasn't a normal dream. This time it would devour me.

"No." Belphegor stepped in front of me. Horns curled at his head, his tail swished from side to side. An aura, even more menacing than the shadow creature, engulfed him.

It couldn't hurt me. I had brought my own monster. I placed one hand on Belphie's back. It felt solid and warm. At my touch a slight smile spread over his face.

My fear shrank and with it the monster. It became smaller and smaller until only a moldy stain on the linoleum remained. Soon, I couldn't even make out which of the spots had once been the scourge of my nights.

"Thank you," I said, still panting. "It's silly, but I had nightmares of that thing for years."

He scratched his cheek. "I'm always happy to slip into your dreams and help you."

"You wish," I said. "And now it's your turn to show me a dream."

"...okay." He took my hand and we walked through the kitchen door.

Right into a vortex of sights and sounds. We had stepped into a tent the size of a stadium. An elephant trampled past us, its trumpeting ringing in my ears. Fire whooshed, as a tiger leapt through a burning ring and roared. Balloon creatures formed between the hands of a clown and floated upwards, where acrobats in glittering leotards gracefully somersaulted from trapeze to trapeze.

Over all this lay the cheers and cries of the audience, as well as the thick scent of sawdust, animals, and peanuts.

"A circus! I've never been to one…" My eyes jumped from one part of the spectacle to another, unable to settle on just one scene.

Belphie smiled, something like pride in his eyes. "No? It's like magic."

I laughed. "And here I am, admiring all the actual magic you have in the Devildom."

"Devildom magic is almost always dark and heavenly magic is highly restricted. But this… It's pure joy." Smiling, he watched a herd of horses dance past, decked in plumes of feathers and rhinestones. "I used to love it, before… before…" His smile withered. A new stench, metallic and bitter, spread through the manège. One of the horses whinnied shrilly, reared and bucked.

"No," Belphie said.

A scream rang through the air. One of the glittering figures fell, their wings broken and crumbled. The tiger pounced. Green eyes gleamed over fangs covered in red.

I said, "We should go." I pulled on Belphie's hand, but he stood rooted on the spot, eyes wide and transfixed

"No, no, no…" His voice trembled. "Not here."

Cheering had morphed to screeching, as the audience turned on itself with fists and teeth. With a sound like the whole universe tearing, the tent split apart. A harsh glare bathed us in bluish light. Small shadowy figures collided in the distance, erupting in shouts of rage and pain. Loudest was the tormented scream of a woman.

"Come on!" I shoved Belphie. It was like pushing a tree. With a thump, a severed leg dropped to the ground next to us.

_Read something. Snap your fingers. Wake up._

But then Belphie would still be here, caught in his nightmare. Well then. Time to put the lessons from my last date to good use.

I took a deep breath. "Belphegor, by our pact, I command you look at me."

There was a slight tremble, and then, as if against a strong wind, he lowered his head. Our eyes met.

"Right," I said. "Look at me, okay? It's a nightmare, it's not real. I'm here with you. Just follow me."

Slowly, he nodded. The light around us had dimmed and the cacophony quieted.

Hand in hand, we stepped through the entrance of the circus.

A clock ticked in the background. Pencils scratched on paper. The teacher cleared his throat. "You are late. Already half the time for your math exam is over. You know, if you don't pass, you'll never have graduated."

"Oh great," I murmured. At least I was wearing pants. "I really, really don't want to stay here."

Belphie held on to my hand. "Wait. I'm... sorry. I wanted to show you something special, but then it all came back…"

"It's okay," I said. "Really. I wasn't in danger. These were… memories, right? Of the war?"

He turned his head away and said, "I'm sorry."

"I said it's okay." Well, at least he had started apologizing to me.

"Not about that." He glanced at me. "You told me to not be pushy, but I _will_ hug you now."

His arms closed around me in a light embrace. I hugged him back as hard as I could.

"Hey, no making out in the classroom! I swear, kids these days…" the teacher said.

When we let go, our surroundings had changed again. We were in a dimly lit movie theater. The red velvet seats were threadbare, the formerly lush carpet sticky. In the air hung a smell of popcorn and soda so thick you could taste it. Light painted our faces orange as an expensive car exploded on the screen and its bald driver was hurled through the air.

"Is this… a movie theater?" asked Belphie.

My face grew hot. It must have been the teacher's comment that brought us here. _Making out._

"Yeeaah," I said. "This was in my hometown. They had this sneak preview, it was super cheap and so were the movies." I hesitated, but then added, "I came here with my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend." Belphie's voice was flat.

"Yes, I had boyfriends before. This boyfriend was fourteen, and we were both pimply horrors. And in here, in the dark…" We would make out. And we did, in the sticky, hazy way one does in dreams. Only now, his lips tasted of chocolate and cloves, and his hand were sure and purposeful as they slipped under my shirt and stroked my back.

I wasn't my teenage self, and this wasn't Michael from Spanish class.

I pushed Belphie back. "Wait. Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't think of me. That's not right." Fire from a new explosion flickered in his violet eyes. He pulled me closer, and I leaned into another kiss. I could feel myself getting lost in the irreality of this place, moving along as these dreams always did, and I knew where it would lead. Even though his tongue, his touch made me long for more, I backed off.

"I can't do this. I can't go from fighting with you, to mutual saving us from nightmares, to a… a sex dream. It's too much, too fast."

With a last touch, he moved away. “It’s your choice.” He tucked at a strand of his hair and smiled. "This should happen in the real world, anyway."

I shook my head. "Be quiet. I'll try snapping my fingers."

After several tries I was frustrated enough to fall out of the dream into awakening. Next to me lay Belphie, eyes open and looking at me.

"That was… interesting," I said and let go of his hand.

Belphie curled up like a cat, and wiggled deeper into his hoard of pillows.

He said, "And now you have something else to think about when you see me." He smirked and closed his eyes. In seconds, his breathing became deep and all the darkness melted from his face. I pulled a blanket over him and left him alone. My head was spinning from everything that had happened, too many emotions packed into one night. We would have to talk about it some time, but not today.

Next to my door, I found another sleeper. Mammon sat on the floor, his back to wall. "But that's so cheap, I'll take a hundred," I could hear him murmur.

"Mammon." I patted his head. His sunglasses had slipped to the tip of his nose.

"Huh… What… Don't take my wallet, it's empty anyway…" He blinked, and a sleepy smile appeared on his face. "Oh, it's you. Why are you in my bed?"

"You'll hurt your back, sleeping like this", I said.

His eyes sprang fully open. "I didn't… It was just a…"

"Go to bed, Mammon. It's nice of you to wait for me, but it's really not necessary. Take care of yourself, please." I ruffled his hair.

"W-well, you should sleep too," he said. "And prepare yourself, it's my turn tomorrow, and the Great Mammon will show ya what a real date is. Dress nice, I'll take you out at seven."

"Sounds good." I went into my room, but couldn't resist looking over my shoulder. "Oh, and don't worry, nothing too sexual happened."

Before he could protest, I closed the door. Mammon was such an easy target, even I felt the urge to tease him from time to time.

He’d have the opportunity to pay me back tomorrow.

**Mammon**

As Mammon was the first to tell me to dress up, I went all in on my outfit. With each item I pulled out, I asked myself if Asmodeus would approve of my choice. I normally wasn't someone who wore extravagant jewelry and spent a long time on their hair, but today was an exception. For some reason, dressing up for the other boys made me anxious, but knowing that me dressing up would make Mammon nervous boosted my confidence.

When he came to pick me up, I said, "You like it?" And proceeded to give him a twirl.

"It's o-okay, I mean, for a human…" His desperate attempts to look at all the right places while pretending to not look at all belied his words.

Mammon himself had switched his usual aviator to a more formal black-and-grey suit jacket with yellow embroidery - custom made and very expensive, as he informed me with luciferian pride. I complimented him just to make him blush.

"Well then, what’s the plan," I said.

"We’re going to the casino," he said with a grin.

"Mammon!" I stopped in my tracks. "I don’t think I should enable your waste of money."

"You shouldn't…" He puffed his cheeks. "C’mon, you sound older than Barbatos, and he’s fucking ancient. Gambling is fun. You said you’ve never done that before, so don’t knock it till you try it."

"I only have my allowance, and I’m sure as hell not spending earth money."

"No problem." He raised his hands. "Wouldn’t expect you to spend your own Grims on a date, y’know? As it happens, I had a shooting at one of the few casinos I’m not yet banned, and they gave me some complimentary chips. Also, some dumbass gave me a fat wad of cash for pretty much nothing, have to spend it on something."

"You mean Satan paid you to switch days with him?"

"Yeah. What an idiot, huh? Come, come, let’s go." He ushered me outside, and I decided to once again, go with it and not insist on a more wholesome activity. He would find a way to make his money disappear no matter if I participated or not.

He had parked his beloved _Demonio 666 Lexura_ directly outside. We piled inside. With a roar of the engine, Mammon said, "Alright, let's break some speed limits!"

Just in time, I managed to put on my seat belt. "There are speed limits in hell?"

"Well no, but… Whoops, there goes one of the little demons."

I braced myself, as the car bumped, and the black creature flew over our roof. "Mammon!"

"Eh, they are hard to kill."

"If you don't slow down, I'll be sick and your car will reek for months!"

The vehicle drifted around a corner, smoke rising from the tires. Mammon shifted down a gear.

He said, "Fine! You can be really boring, you know that?"

"Well, excuse me for wanting to live! Things are trying to kill me around here on a daily basis, I don't need to add a car crash to that!" I tried to smoothen my crumpled clothes.

"As if the Great Mammon would crash a car." Probably out of spite, he slammed the brakes. "Here we are!"

The building was as garish as human casinos. A gigantic neon sign flashed above the entrance. It showed a scantily dressed angel winking at us and flipping a coin. _Celestial Gold_ the sign said.

Inside, Mammon pointed at a poster. "Look! That's me!" A bare-chested Mammon lay on something resembling a roulette table, bills of Grim draped on his skin. He made direct eye contact, and had a wicked grin on his lips. _Play with my Blessing_ , read the text.

"You are a really good model, you know that?" I said.

"Of course I am! You don't need to sound so surprised."

"Very sexy," I said. The picture looked a bit too much like the Mammon I had imagined after the date with Asmodeus. My heart rate quickened.

"Y-you think so… I mean, yeah, it's the Great Mammon, so of course it's…" He ran out of things to stammer and changed the subject. "Let's have a drink before we start betting."

The long bar was served by what looked like a swarm of blowflies. They buzzed over to us and formed a question mark.

"One Brimstone Scotch, and… something fruity with an umbrella", Mammon said.

"Hey, I might be a 'Vodka straight' kind of human!" I protested. After a sceptical look from Mammon and the fly-keeper, I added, "Fruity and umbrella sounds good."

Mammon went over the menu. "Naw, this one has sulfuric acid. Hey, this has ambrosia, didn't know you could get it here…"

A minute later, a cocktail was placed in front of me. The color shifted and changed depending on the angle I was looking at it. I took a sip. Taste danced on my tongue, like sun-drenched wild strawberries, like rich chocolate cake, like deep dark wine, like ice cold oranges, all together, and still in harmony. I made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan.

Mammon raised his hand to his mouth. His face unsuccessfully tried to balance amusement and arousal. "That good? That’s heavenly ambrosia for you."

Now that my taste buds had calmed down, I could feel the bubbly warmth of the liquor in my belly. "Very good. I’ll miss all that crazy magic stuff when I’m back on earth."

"You’re gonna leave us, aren’t ya?" He lowered his head and pinched his eyes shut. Were that tears? No, he couldn’t be that sad. In the next second, he was back to a big smile. "But not today. Today, we’re gonna have fun." He grabbed my arm and dragged me off so fast, I nearly spilled my drink.

"So," he said. "First some easy fun, then down to serious business. Let’s start with… How about slime wrestling?"

"Slime wrestling? Like half-naked people rolling around covered in goo?" I raised one eyebrow.

He gave me an appraising look. "Hey, that’s a great idea. You up for that if I find you a nice witch to grapple?"

With the most innocent look I could muster, I said, "You mean you want so see me naked and slimey in front of a bunch of horny demons? Why, I would love to."

"Yeah, forget it, like anybody would like to see some human get naked…" He scratched his neck, and shot me a quick glance. "Nah, slime wrestling is something else."

It turned out to be an arena of gleaming steel and two oversized jars of jelly. We sat down among a crowd of chattering demons.

"Ok, so… We have two fighters. Topaz Scythe and Styx Assault." Mammon pointed at the snot-yellow slime first, then at the other one, which was the color of curdled blood. "Each will try to slurp the other up and, what's that word? Dissolve em'. We can bet on one of three outcomes. Topaz gobbles up Styx or the other way around. Or they morph into some kind of uber-slime. So, what’s your bet?"

"Uhhh… Aren’t you supposed to have some kind of sixth sense when it comes to stuff like that? I don’t know anything about slimes! What are the odds?"

"Ah, ah!" Mammon wagged his finger at me. "You’re the one learning to gamble, so you place the bet. But okay, lemme give you some context. Topaz is the unproven underdog. But! It was grown from a piece of Topaz Megido, which was a famous champ. Styx on the other hand has fifty successful fights under its… um… goo, but people say it might be stretched a little too thin. The fusion option, yeah, that’s unlikely. It’ll give you wins, wins, wins like nothing else, though."

"Okay, then… Let’s go with the underdog." It was an emotional decision, not a logical one.

"Thought so," said Mammon and handed a stack of Grim to a burly bookmaker-demon.

"You think you know me so well, huh?" I poked him in the ribs, and was pleased when he patted my head in response.

"Yeah, I do. You're as transparent as a slime."

I laughed. "If you want to charm me, maybe don't compare me to some kind of mold, or fungus, or whatever these are."

"Who says anything about charming? Why'd I want to charm a human? Pff, as if…" There was a slight upturn to his lips, as if even he couldn’t be bothered to keep up the charade.

The crowd started murmuring which became cheering, as big chains connected to the slime's glass prisons were drawn taut. The jars were lifted in the air, the slimes bubbled out. Yellow tendrils shot out from Topaz, smacked the floor and propelled it forward with surprising speed.

"Go get him!" I heard myself yell.

Mammon joined in. "Yeah, fuck that piece of dried snot up!"

But Styx wasn't helpless. It shrank, and the yellow attacker flowed around it like liquid. One thick snake of brownish slime wrapped itself around one half of Topaz, and started squeezing.

"Nooo! Come on boy, you can do it!" I was now standing and waving.

Topaz snapped back, and its whole body engulfed Styx' offshoot. Styx' everted its mass, and for a moment there was an undulating chaos of yellow, red, and orange. There was no way to tell where one creature started and the other ended. The multi-colored blob rose like leavened dough. Bubbles and protuberances formed on its surface.

Suddenly, a siren blared, and the stadium was plunged into red light. Nearly in unison, the whole audience started screaming and rushing to the exits.

"What's going on?" I shouted over the racket. Down in the arena, winged demons zapped the growing slime with electro rods.

"Uber-slime! We should get outta here!"

"Good id… oof!" Someone slammed into my back, throwing me against the chairs. A hairy demon hurried past, nearly trampling me.

"Oi, be fucking careful here!" Mammon stood over me and roughly shoved away the next fleeing demon. It crashed into the row a few meters away.

He asked, "You okay? I'll find that guy and rip him a new one!"

"I'm okay." I took hold of his outstretched hand and got up, just in time to see a humongous tentacle of slime loom above us. "Behind you!"

"Oh shit!" The next second, Mammon had scooped me up in his arms, and we sailed through the air. With a resounding "thud", the slime-tentacle hit the floor next to us. Gooey liquid splattered my face.

"The doors!" I could see thick metal plates descending over the exits.

Mammon made a dash for the opening. "Shit, shit, shit!" His last expletive landed at the exact moment his foot stepped into a big glob of slime. He stumbled backwards, somehow maintained his balance, and turned his fall into wild slide forward. Head over heels, we tumbled through the shrinking gap.

A loud "thunk", and the door clanked shut.

I carefully raised my head and sat up. Somehow I had landed on Mammon, who seemed to be content just lying on the floor and catching his breath.

He said, "I… had a feeling… we should have… bet on… the uber-slime."

Too much. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the whole absurdity of the situation, but a giggle burst from my lips. It quickly evolved into a laughter so hard, tears streamed from my eyes. I doubled over on Mammon's chest.

He said, "Okay, okay, you can stop now."

"S-sorry." I wiped my face and finally stood up. I offered my hand to Mammon and hauled him to his feet.

"You look terrible," I said.

"Thanks, right back at ya." He pouted.

"That's not something you should tell a date," I scolded him. "Come here, you dirty boy." From my pocket, I produced a clean handkerchief and wiped the spots of slime from his face. Red as a beet, he endured my cleaning.

I said, "Here, that's better. Though we really need a shower."

"Yeah well, it's too early for that. What, ya gonna cave in and crawl into bed just because some giant monster nearly crushed you? The nights not over, we still have to hit the high roller tables, win us some nice pocket change." He grinned at me.

I raised my hands in defeat. "Alright, alright! I'll go to the bathroom to deslime, you get me another… no, two more drinks. And if any more giant creatures turn up, I'll be out of here."

We still looked more than a little disheveled when we strolled into the luxurious hall reserved for the card tables. The sound of our steps was swallowed by the thick carpet. Where the slime wrestling had been loud and raucous, these serious gamblers only communicated in monosyllables. The dealers were shadowy, hooded figures, and when one spoke, it sounded like breaking ice.

"This one looks good," Mammon said. He was referring to a table at which sat a creature vaguely resembling a hammerhead shark, a skeletal woman in a velvet dress, and what I was pretty sure we're two little demons atop each other in a trenchcoat.

"Mammon, I think I'll sit this one out. I can be your lucky charm, but I don't think I have the mental stamina to learn a new game and play it right now." I sat down next to him, but shook my head when the hooded figure dealt the cards.

"Suit yourself," Mammon said. "Just don't peek at my cards if you can't bluff."

I took another sip from my drink and said, "Now I'm curious to see your poker face. Maybe it's better when it's about a game."

"I ain't even asking what that's supposed to mean. Desolation," he added after looking at his cards, and threw some chips on the table.

From what I could gleam after the first round, the game was played with tarot cards, and you tried to achieve valuable combinations similar to poker. But the value of a combination could change according to the announcements of the players, which of course were indecipherable code words. Which meant that I had no idea who was in the lead and who was loosing.

I was right about his poker face. Mammon, who normally was as open as a book, kept a cocky grin on his face the whole time. Only when he glanced over to me, did his smile widen a bit. The little demons chattered excitedly with every good card and hissed at bad ones. They soon dropped out, while the pot in the middle of the table grew steadily. I could see the stack of chips in Mammon's pocket shrink more and more.

Angrily rattling her bones, the skeletal women threw her cards on the table. "Double inferno! Impossible!"

Now it was only the hammerhead shark and Mammon.

The shark licked one of his eyes with a glistening tongue and said, "I heard the Avatar of Greed was a fool, it seems I was misinformed. You play… decently. I will crush you nevertheless." Its sharp fangs glittered.

"Oh yeah? Well, then you shouldn't mind another raise." Mammon pushed the rest of our chips into the middle of the table.

The shark chuckled. "Of course not. I don't have any more chips, but maybe you will accept the keys to my _Sabertooth D_ car."

"Oh yeah, that's fine," Mammon said. A glint had appeared in his eyes, one I knew well enough.

I tugged at his sleeve. "Mammon, I think this is a trap."

As if I hadn't said anything, the shark continued, "But of course, this is far more valuable than your small sum."

"Ok, fine, let me see what I still have…" Mammon patted his pockets. "My _Demonio 666 Lexura_ should be worth just as much as your _Sabertooth D._ " He threw the keys next to the stacks of chips.

"I see. Not bad." The shark-man dipped one finger in his blood-red drink and licked off the liquid. "You seem to have confidence in your cards. I have confidence in mine." He put a pouch on the table. "This is special. Fool's gold. You can take as much as you want, it'll always be full." He demonstrated this by turning over the bag. Golden coins rolled out. When he raised the bag, it was once again full and heavy. "Though the coins disappear after a fortnight. Do you have anything of equal value or do you withdraw?"

Mammon wiped a bit of drool from his lip. Apparently he was already dreaming up a million schemes he could realize with the fool’s gold.

"If you can’t raise…" The shark started to withdraw the pouch.

I once again made a valiant effort to stop Mammon. "Come on, you do cons all the time, he is obviously playing you!"

The shark demon shrugged. "Well then, if you listen to your pet human, I'll just take the gold, and see what you have."

"No, wait!" Mammon pushed a small object towards the pot. It was a silver pendant, made from intricate lines. Looking at its soft glow gave me a strange sense of warmth and happiness.

Mammon said, "Angelic artefact. Should be worth a lot." His voice was hoarse. For a moment, sadness showed on his face, then he put on his usual grin. "Well then, let’s see."

"Please…" The shark made an inviting gesture with his hand.

Mammon fanned the cards out on the table. "Broken tower, salted land. No fucking way you can beat that."

His fingers already touched the pouch, when the shark cleared his throat. "Not so fast, angel boy. Road to Immortality." He tapped his cards.

"Wait. No. No, no, no. That’s impossible! How can I lose? The odds for that…" Mammon stared at the table. "Fine, take the fucking car, but not…"

The shark let the pendant dangle from his fingers. "This? Is it a memento from your time up there? It must hurt to lose it, angel boy. Maybe I can corrupt the magic inside."

Mammon bared his teeth. The wood of the table started to bend under his grip.

I placed one hand on his. "Don’t. Do you think you can win the next round?"

"With what? I’m out of.... everything! But yeah, he’ll never ever get a hand as good as that again." Blood trickled from his clenched fist.

"One more round," I said. "The car and the pendant against my soul."

Mammon spun around and grabbed my arm. "What? Are you fucking insane? No. No way. Forget it, it’s only stuff, but you…"

"Done." The shark put the car keys and the pendant back on the table. The hooded figure made a beckoning gesture. The old cards floated through the air in graceful curves and mixed with the new deck. Six cards landed in front of both players.

"I’ll strangle you with my own hands after this, I tell ya." But for now, his hands only trembled.

I leaned over to him and kissed his cheek. "You can do it, I believe in you."

There was no raising this time, no banter, only going back and forth and exchanging cards for a few turns. I held onto Mammon’s arm, filled with immense regret. What would happen to my soul if a real, evil demon got hold of it? Would I be tortured? Eaten? What did it feel like when your soul got devoured?

"This is it." Mammon’s words stopped my train of thought. "Show me what you got."

The eternally grinning shark turned over his cards. "Road to Immortality." He chuckled. "I will enjoy your human. Maybe I can play with it before I…"

Cold dread settled in my stomach. How could I be so stupid. I knew this was a scam. I knew it, and yet I still wagered my immortal soul.

"Shut your fucking maw." Mammon slammed his cards on the table. "Silver Lining. Boom. You’re done." With the last word, a smile cracked his lips.

"We… won?" I shook his arm. "We really won?"

He leisurely picked up the items on the table, then turned to me. "Yeah, ‘course we did. I’m Mammon after all. The Great Mammon."

I grabbed his head and kissed him. He flinched, and then pulled me close. I could feel his heart hammer in his chest and mine matched its speed.

"No strangling?" I said.

"Quiet, I’m not done. Not for a long time." He kissed me again, his lips warm, his tongue teasing. I was just about to ask him to move to somewhere quieter, when I heard a cough behind us.

"Well done, angel boy," the shark said. "Let me just tell you how much I admire you."

"Oh yeah?" Mammon slid from his chair and pulled me down alongside him.

"Yes. You play well." Had the shark been this big from the beginning?

Mammon started to walk backwards, always keeping himself between me and the demon.

While pushing me behind him, Mammon said, "Yeah, I’m the Great Mammon after all."

"I especially admire your fingers." The demon now towered over us. Muscles bulged on his arms. A long tongue flicked over his three rows of teeth. "They are so quick."

"Run!" And as he shouted that, I was once again grabbed and thrown over Mammon’s shoulder.

I yelled, "You cheated?"

"Of course I cheated! As if I let some stinking fish demon get his fins on your beautiful soul! And he cheated first, no way he’s that lucky."

I had a prime view of the chaos unfolding behind us. The shark roared, and charged. Each step shook the ground. As if one giant monster wasn’t enough, the dealers were floating toward us from their tables. Red pinpoints appeared in their hoods.

" _Cheater,"_ they hissed with icy voices. " _Punishment._ "

"Hurry! The hoody guys are coming!" I screamed.

"Shit, shit, shit." Mammon grabbed me tighter. "Hold on, I’ll change."

"You what…" The fabric under my fingers melted away as if it were soaked into his skin. His flesh bubbled and shifted, and black wings grew on his lower back.

Behind us, the eyes of one dealer flared up, and a beam of light seared the carpet next to us. Meanwhile, the shark nipped at our heels, slower than Mammon, but only barely so.

I shouted, "Mammon! Sidestep to the left, then hard right!"

"What?"

"Just do it!"

I was thrown around, as he jumped left, then right. The shark’s claws flashed past us, tearing the carpet. The giant demon scrambled to match our maneuver. In the same second, another beam hissed through the air, only this time, a big, bulky shark was between us and the hooded figure. The shark howled in pain. A sizzling hole gaped on his back.

"The exit!" Mammon rushed past two confused monkeys in bellboy outfits. Outside, he crouched and jumped in the air. I screamed, as his wings beat, and we rose higher and higher. This wasn’t like jumping in a video game world or flying in a dream. This was real. My hands, my whole skin was slick with sweat. If I lost my hold, I’d splatter on the ground.

Beneath us, hooded figures looked up. Beams cut the air. Mammon cursed and rolled. My stomach lurched, and I dug my fingers into his flesh as hard as I could.

"If I die here, I will haunt you so hard! I’ll slow down your infernet, spill your coffee, displace your credit card, and…" The wind was knocked out of my lungs, as Mammon accelerated so hard, I could almost hear a sonic boom. Enough. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck.

After both an eternity and a few seconds, I could feel a bump, then Mammon said, "We made it. Hell be damned…"

I opened my eyes. We were standing in front of the House of Lamentation. Or better, Mammon was standing, and I was trying to unclench my cramped limbs.

"You can let go, y’know," he said.

"Just… just give me a second." I gingerly placed one foot on the ground, then the other. My legs were shaking so hard, I had to hold on to Mammon for a long moment.

Finally, I said, "Let’s go inside. I’m sure the shark knows where you live."

"Yeeeah… Good point." Mammon took my arm, and I stumbled into the dorm.

I had regained some amount of stability once we reached my room.

"Listen," Mammon said. "I just… y’know… wanted to know… I mean, yeah, it wasn’t an ideal date."

"There were two giant monsters trying to eat us. Two." I leaned against the wall, exhausted now that the adrenaline had subsided.

"Yeah, yeah, but I mean, that wasn’t the important part, the important part, uhm…"

A calm voice said, "Yes. Please tell us about the important part."

Both of our heads snapped up. Lucifer, who had probably been there for much too long, looked down at Mammon.

He said, "I had a very interesting call with the _Celestial Gold_ casino. It seems _someone_ caused quite the commotion. And now I hear something about giant monsters?"

Mammon raised both hands. "Y’know, it wasn’t my fault, the other guy cheated and even if we nearly lost a human soul, everything turned out fine!"

"You nearly lost the soul of our exchange student?"

"No, I mean, absolutely did I not, and we also didn’t enrage the dealers…" Sweat beaded Mammons brow.

Lucifer just sighed. "We will talk in my study." He crooked one finger at Mammon and started to walk away.

"I was there, too," I piped up.

Lucifer gave me a look of dark amusement. "Oh? Do you wish to join Mammon in his punishment?"

Mammon turned to me, opened my door, and pushed me inside. "Nah, humans couldn’t live through that kind of treatment. Give’em some kind of extra exercise or something, if you must. But looking at us two, whose fault do you think the whole thing was?"

"Hm. You have a point. Come on now."

The last thing I could hear was Mammon moaning in defeat, then my door snapped shut.

**Beelzebub**

Mammon wasn’t at breakfast the next day. I listlessly poked at my bacon and tried not to imagine what kind of punishment he was subjected to. Today was supposed to be the last day of my string of dates, and the idea filled me more with dread than with anticipation. Why couldn’t they just take me out to a nice dinner date? Instead I had seen cursed sirens and dreamscapes.

But the thought of a dinner date reminded me who my partner for today was: Beelzebub. I took a deep breath and calmed down. Beel wasn’t the guy to plan complicated and potentially life-threatening excursions; he also wasn’t the guy to dump all his drama on me. Maybe a little anticipation was warranted. This could be nice and nice was all I wanted.

I found Beel where he spent half of his days: in the kitchen. One of his big hands was cramming sandwiches in his mouth, the other stuffed them in a wicker basket large enough to fit me inside.

"We are having a picnic?" I asked.

Beel's answer were muffled sounds. He swallowed and tried again. "Yeah, there are some nice trails around here. Normally, I go for a run there, but I thought we could go hiking and then eat."

"Are any giant monsters on this hiking trails?" I asked.

He mulled this over for a moment, then said, "I never saw any, but this is the Devildom, so I guess it's always possible." He smiled and nodded, as if assuring himself that this was fine. "But I can handle any monster that tries to eat you. And then we can eat it."

He clearly wasn't joking. I said, "My monster quota has been filled for this week, so I'll just hope for the best." After I watched him devour a whole roast bird, bones and everything, I asked, "Do you need help? You know, at this rate, nothing will be left for the picnic."

He looked from me to the food, and back to me. "But I'm supposed to prepare everything…"

"It's fine." I shoved the remaining food outside of his reach. "I’ll even throw in some human food. Nothing fancy, but still…"

"Yeah! I like that. I like your cooking."

That didn’t seem like much, but was probably the greatest compliment Beel could give someone. Especially since I wasn’t an amazing cook, just an okay one. But I guess the exoticism of human food added to the attraction.

I said, "Great, you wait outside."

He managed to snatch up another sandwich as I gently pushed him towards the exit.

For the next hour or so, I whipped up two big bowls of salad, countless sandwiches, and a simple crumble. After I had stored everything in the basket, I found myself unable to move it even an inch. So instead I left to change into the most outdoor compatible clothes I owned, and then went to fetch Beel who had no problem whatsoever lifting the thing. It looked as if he had strapped a whole wardrobe or maybe an old-fashioned steamer trunk to his back.

"I can take that too, you know." He pointed at my own backpack.

"Yeah, no. That’s for snacks on the go, and if I give it to you, you’ll just eat the whole thing."

With a serious expression he turned to me. "I love you. I really do."

"You, uh… You don’t just say stuff like that out of the blue, you know." A warm, fluttery sensation settled in my stomach.

"But it’s true."

I couldn’t look him in the eye. "Tell me again after the hike, okay? Or I’ll be too flustered to enjoy the sights."

"But I really…"

I interrupted him by grabbing his hand and starting towards the exit. His palm was sweaty. Maybe he wasn’t as relaxed about declarations of love as he seemed.

We took a path out of the city. Soon, the constant background chatter of countless demons going about their life gave way to silence. Now, there was the rustling of leaves, the cawing of crows, and the crunching of our steps. It was what was considered day in the Devildom, but all that meant was a dusky gloom instead of complete darkness. The danger of losing my step in the grey half-light was excuse enough to hold on to Beel’s large hand.

"Can I ask you something?" he said.

This, along we "we need to talk', was a sentence that could instantly fill you with terror.

But of course, I said, "Sure."

"Did you fight with Belphie?"

That made me pause.

He added, "I’m sorry. It’s just… You know, we are connected, so I get an idea of what he’s feeling, and he was in a lot of pain."

Ouch. I knew my anger had been justified, but being told you were the cause of so much hurt to another person was not a good feeling. It also clearly showed me that if I cut ties with Belphegor, Beelzebub would be gone as well.

"I’m sorry. It’s just… he can be so direct with some things and so evasive with others. He made me so… mad. I just can’t forget what he did to me."

"I understand. But you made up, right? And then you…" Now it was his turn to blush furiously.

"Oh come on." I hung my head. I had to remember that every time I dealt with one twin, the other would listen in.

"I just wanted to say, I know what Belphie did to you was terrible, but he’s not a bad demon. And he likes you a lot."

"I know. I just… It takes time, that’s all. I haven't banished him from my life, I just need some time."

Beel smiled at me, relief visible in his face. "That's good. Before you came to us, everyone was… sadder. But now, even Lucifer smiles. A real smile, not that smirk he likes to do. It would hurt to lose all that again."

"No pressure, huh?" I said. "Well, I do have a degree in armchair psychology, so I'm sure I am a big help."

"You are." He squeezed my hand and his words squeezed my heart a little.

From up ahead, I heard the sound of running water. A river of silvery water crossed by a bridge cut through our path. It was fed by hundreds of small waterfalls dripping from a small cliff. Over the centuries, the rivulets had cut narrow canals into the stone.

"It’s the river of tears," Beel said.

"It’s beautiful. Wait, are those actual tears?" I eyed the river suspiciously.

Beel took an umbrella out of the basket. "Well…"

We crossed the bridge and climbed the hill. Atop, the source of the current became clear. We had entered a forest of bone-white trees. Every single leaf on their branches was an eye, and each eye was crying. Eeriest was the silence. All we could hear was the steady drip-drip-drip of the tears falling.

In a hushed voice, Beel said, "These are the damned souls of people who abused others. Now they shed the tears they caused others to cry."

I looked up at the eyes, blue, brown, green, yellow, some not even human, and they all had belonged to a person once.

"I liked my reality better when life after death was a mystery," I said.

"Don’t worry, we all can feel your soul, and it’s too pure for hell. If you really go to heaven or somewhere else, that I can’t say."

Disregarding the uncomfortable fact that apparently all demons could smell the status of my morality, I said, "So not even making pacts with all of you means I’m damned?"

"It’s not the act itself, it’s more what you do with it. If you command me to eat innocent people, then yes, you go to hell. But that wouldn’t be so bad, we are here, we could protect you."

He smiled at me. I shivered in response. "The idea of spending an eternity anywhere isn’t very appealing to me."

"I was just…" He stumbled over his words. "Sometimes I remember that you will leave us soon, and I’m sad."

The patter of the tears on our umbrella was a fitting soundtrack to the tight feeling in my chest. "I’ll miss you too. All of you. But I have a real family, you know. I have parents and a sister, and I have friends. It’s bad enough that I can rarely contact them from here."

"I’m sorry." Beel stopped, and I was suddenly engulfed in a one-armed bear hug. "I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want you to go."

I rested my head against his broad chest. His musky smell of sweat and the lingering fumes of his cooking were comforting. My eyes brimmed with tears. I blinked them away. I wouldn’t cry in a forest of damned eyes.

He let go of me to stroke my hair and cup my face in his large hand.

"Please," he said.

When I didn’t immediately answer, he lowered his head and kissed me, gently tracing my lip with the tip of his tongue, as if he were tasting a new specialty, before easing in a deeper touch. Every time I so much as slightly retreated, he pulled me back in again, just as insatiable here as with food. Heat coursed through my body, both the fire of arousal, and the warmth of affection. Maybe an eternity of this was not that bad.

Still, I broke the kiss. "You are very convincing, but…" I sighed. "Let’s not spend our time together making each other sad, okay? There is still a long time left in my term."

"Okay." Although there was a lingering look of melancholy in his violet eyes, he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he leaned in for another quick kiss.

"Got an appetite, huh?" I teased him.

"Hmm… Yes," he said, "It’s nearly as good as food." As if to remind him, his stomach rumbled. I handed him some of the emergency snacks in my backpack.

"I love you," he said.

"Your love isn’t very expensive, you know? I feel like you only care for the snacks, not for me." I took his hand, and we moved on.

"I don’t!" he protested. Then he asked for another cookie.

The hike uphill was getting strenuous. At least we had left the crying trees behind us and now trekked through barren mountains, where jagged boulders towered over us. In my mind, they transformed into dragons and ogres, and it wasn’t soon enough that we emerged into an opening. Here, weeping willows bowed their heads, and the floor was covered in dark-green grass.

"Let’s eat!" Beel slipped the giant basket from his shoulders, spooking a flock of ravens in the process. I had barely laid out the blanket and plates, when Beel was already stuffing one of my salads into his bottomless mouth.

I enjoyed sitting down, as my legs remembered the all-nighter dancing with Asmo and were still undecided whether or not to cramp again. I managed to secure a full plate for myself, and quietly hoped that Beel hadn’t forgotten that humans couldn’t eat some Devildom food. What he had prepared was pretty good. Beel wasn’t allowed to cook that much, because his tries usually ended with nothing left for us or some other food-related catastrophe, so I hadn't had much opportunity to sample his dishes. He had made an insane amount of sandwiches. I chose one with hot sauce and fried vegetables, as well as one with cold cuts and a creamy curry. There was a fruit salad - the color-changing pieces of ambrosia in it made my mouth water - a salad made from some kind of seaweed and caramelized nuts, and of course a cake.

Even though only a fraction of the supplies landed on my plate, Beel finished first. He fell back on the blanket with a satisfied sigh.

"Tell me something," he said.

I swallowed a piece of a chili-chocolate cookie. "What something?"

"I don’t know. I just want to hear your voice. Maybe you can tell me about your family."

Up until now, hardly anybody had asked me about my life in the human world. "Well, my mother is a dentist, which is why I have excellent teeth and also packed tooth brushes for us. My father is in IT for a big corporation. Oh, you’ll like that, they both love cooking and met in a cooking class. They are much better cooks than me. Then there’s my little sister, and as it goes, I both hate and love her dearly. She’s not that much younger than me, so we were bratty teens at the same time, I don’t know how we survived that."

He chuckled. "Don’t tell anybody, but sometimes I feel that my brothers make my life much more stressful."

"Very diplomatic." I laughed. "But even so, she was always there. When I had my heart broken for the first time and when a teacher bullied me. I’ll still never forgive her for stealing my battle-action He-Man and throwing him in the trash."

"What about your parents? I can understand siblings, but parents… We have a father, however he is more of an abstract being. It’s not the same." He echoed the words Belphegor had used to talk about their creator.

"I can’t really imagine how that would be. I guess Lucifer seems more like a father figure to all of you."

"Somewhere between a father, a brother, and a leader, yes." He turned his head to me. "How are human parents?"

"Well, it’s different for everyone. I was lucky, I guess, my parents are great. It’s like… there is always someone in your corner, loving you, no matter if you fail, or fuck up, or whatever. Even though I’m an adult now, I still feel that I can go to my parents if something goes horribly wrong and they’ll help me." I snorted. "Okay, that I literally went to hell might be a problem."

Beel closed his eyes. "That sounds nice. Similar to my brothers, but also not."

I asked, "How about you? Do you want a family of your own?"

"I have a family."

"No, I mean, like kids and a partner and all that. I bet you'd make a great dad." His brow furrowed, and I added, "Oh hell, sorry, I forgot that you aren't human. I don't even know if demons can have biological kids… hellspawn…"

His eyes opened again, staring into the distance. "We can, even though it's not that easy. Some adopt humans or other creatures. A family. I never thought about it…"

An "until now" hung in the air, and I regretted bringing up something so momentous at a much too early point. Still, the image of Beel surrounded by a crowd of red-haired kids stuck in my mind.

"Sorry," I said again and placed one hand on his chest.

And was nearly knocked over, when he suddenly snapped up. "It's starting!"

"What?" Surprised, I looked around.

"What I actually wanted to show you." He pointed at something a few meters away. I squinted and could make out strands of colorful light flashing through the air, more and more, weaving together, until they formed a glowing balloon. All over the field, iridescent orbs rose from the grass. In the one closest to me, a tiny black shape scuttled over the fibers, pulling them into a webbing.

"Spiders!" I said.

"Yeah, they, um… I heard it was very pretty… and… Then they use that to… float… for breeding..." Beel’s voice was strained. Perspiration had formed on his forehead.

"Are you okay? Did one bite you? Are they venomous?" I scrambled away from the creature.

Beel wrung his hands. "No. I just… don’t like spiders. I didn’t think it would be that bad." He jumped and grabbed my arm, as one sphere started floating in out direction.

Confused, I patted the biceps of the brawny demon. "But they are only spiders? They are kinda cute up close, and they eat pests like mosquitoes and flies."

"Yeah." He flinched away from the glowing display. "They call me the Lord of Flies, you know."

"Oh. Oh!" It could have been comical, this big guy who would probably punch a minotaur in the snout, scared of a tiny, eight-legged creature. His fear was real, though, and that was the important part.

I said, "If you want to put you head in my lap and close your eyes, you can do that. I’ll chase away any spider that comes close."

His relief was palpable. "You'd do that for me? Thank you." He curled up on the blanket, looking like a bear ready to sleep through winter. Before he laid down his head, he glanced up at me. "I know they aren’t dangerous, but…"

"Don’t worry about it. It’s actually pretty cool that I get to defend you, you know? I feel like a warrior."

"You are. There are all kinds of warriors." He rested his head on my legs. His breath tickled my thighs as he sighed deeply. I let my fingers run through his hair, while I watched the display all around me. The balloons slowly ascended, drifting away like bubbles of soap, until they were indiscernible from the distant stars.

"I think they are all gone," I said. A snore was the only answer. I looked down at the slumbering demon, who murmured something in his dreams and nestled closer to me.

I let him sleep. Meanwhile, the shadows grew darker, a comforting, safe blackness. It made me nearly doze off as well.

Finally, Beel yawned and lifted his head. "I had a nice dream, Belphie," he said. Then he saw me and said, "It wasn’t a dream." Beel’s smile was wide and pure, a light in the darkness. He wrapped me into his arms. "You are still here."

Before I could answer, a loud rumbling disrupted our harmony. By now, I was aware that this was neither a landslide nor a werewolf, it was just Beel's stomach. So we devoured the remains of the picnic, which in Beel’s case included a few napkins and a plate "because there was some hot sauce on it". The rest was stuffed into the basket, and we hiked back to the dormitory.

We parted ways at the kitchen because Beel insisted on cleaning up before bed. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and left for my room.

Worryingly, there was no sign of Mammon. I decided to look for him tomorrow and maybe talk to Lucifer about his punishment, always a fun prospect.

**Lucifer**

The next day I spent in glorious slothfulness, only venturing out to grab some food, all the while relishing that I didn't need to talk to anybody.

Late afternoon came, and my guilty conscience weighted heavy on me, so I decided to finally check on Mammon and Levi. When I walked past the common room, Asmo ran after me.

"Aha, there you are, my kitten." He put an arm around my shoulder and nudged me towards the door. "Come with me."

"But why…" A useless question. Five more demons sat on the couches, very clearly waiting for me.

"Finally!" declared Mammon. "Now tell us."

"Tell you what?" Stress roiled in my stomach.

Asmo put his head on my shoulder and fluttered his eyelids at me.

"Tell them that your date with me was the most beautiful, gorgeous experience you've ever had," he said.

Warily I said, "It was pretty fun?"

"You see?" Asmo pirouetted, stopping in front of me to raise my hand to his lips. "That's how you win!"

"Shut up." A promise of violence shone in Belphie's purple eyes. "You might have displayed your flesh, but we shared our souls, that counts for more."

"Belphie. Calm down." Beel placed his hand on his twin's shoulder.

"This is not for ourselves to decide," Satan said, as he turned to me. "Look, I know our rendezvous had some serious… flaws, so I have no illusions about being in the lead, but I hope it was at least better than Mammon's."

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Mammon threw up his hands. "Whaddya mean, 'better than Mammon's'? I tell ya, our date was full of excitement, that's good right?"

Levi burst out laughing. "ROFLMAO, Mammon got burnt! No, you need to be a gamer to top the leaderboard. You are all noobs."

"Guys!" I squashed the argument before it could really heat up. "This wasn't a competition. It was just a fun way to spend some time together. You can't ask me to rate that." A few mouths opened, but closed again immediately. I was glad that they saw reason and turned to leave before they could change their mind.

And ran into something soft.

"Well, hello." Lucifer's voice was all silk and razorblades. "It seems you have a little get-together and forgot to invite me."

Levi hissed, "You told him, Mammon, didn't you?"

"I didn't tell nobody nothing, I swear!" Mammon said.

"It doesn't matter," Satan said, his green eyes glaring at Lucifer. "Of course he knows, he always does."

"I do." Lucifer smiled a smile of pure, malicious enjoyment. "Though I should feel flattered that all of you believed yourself without a chance against me."

"It's not a competition," I muttered.

Lucifer looked down at me. "Of course it's a competition. And I was unfairly denied participation, so I claim my date now." He held out one gloved at hand to me. "Come with me."

I sighed deeply. This day hadn't worked out the way I had hoped it would, and my mental energy wasn't up to a fight with Lucifer of all people. So I took his hand.

Suddenly self-conscious, I said, "I'm in my second worst pants, can I change before whatever it is happens?"

He smiled. "No need to worry. We aren't going anywhere public, and this look has its own appeal."

"It does?" I said, but of course he didn't explain himself. He just loved throwing you off track and watch you squirm. Fine. If Mr. Immaculate Clothing wanted to entertain me in my faded shirt and jeans, that was his choice.

"So… where are we going?" Gloomy hills and shadowy trees rolled past. Had I been here before? We had left the city, so much was clear, but other than that, I had no idea. The constant dark of the Devildom made it really hard for me to recognize the landscape.

"Just relax and wait." Lucifer kept his gaze fixed on the road ahead, even though the black vintage car drove all on its own.

I suppressed an annoyed sigh. He didn't need to tell me, but the way he ignored me confirmed my impression that he only went on this date to outdo his brothers. I was just an tool in this scheme.

The further we drove, the more anxious I got. This was a long way from the House of Lamentation. And Lucifer was the only brother who hadn't made a pact with me. I generally trusted him, however there was the little matter of him flipping out and nearly killing me _twice_. A safety net in form of a pact would have been very nice.

"We are here." His words interrupted my train of thought.

The car stopped on a dirt road next to a sprawling lake. As I stepped out of the vehicle, a breeze rippled the surface of the water and tousled my hair.

Lucifer closed the door behind me and walked towards the shore. Gravel crunched under my feet as I followed him to a wooden pier. Dark water lapped at the wooden beams of the structure.

"So we are taking a boat ride?" I pointed at the small craft floating on the waves.

"Yes. And no." He jumped down into the boat and held one hand up to me.

I said, "You aren't going to tell me anything, are you?"

He smiled. "No."

I climbed down into the craft and sat on the wooden bench. Lucifer lit a lantern hanging from a beam at the ship's bow, and the boat soundlessly glided out into the night.

A small wave followed in the wake of the ship, and for a moment, a scaly body broke the surface.

I said, "I guess it's not a good idea to dip my hand in there?"

"A number of unpleasant Devildom fish live in these waters. Some are very tasty, but don't use your fingers as bait."

With that, the conversation died down again. Small talk with Lucifer was never easy, but this was worse than ever.

Slowly, the shape of an island emerged from the darkness. Withered trees swayed in the wind and a dilapidated building rose between them. Broken windows and crumbling stone did not make for a welcoming sight.

We docked at another pier. Forlorn gargoyles stared down at me from its corners, and Lucifer tied the boat to one of their horns. I took his hand to climb up on the bank and together we walked over to the clearly haunted house.

One hand resting on the door knocker shaped like the snarling head of a dragon, Lucifer hesitated and turned to me. "Close your eyes."

"A surprise?" I asked and did as he told me. A surprise would be a surprise in itself.

"Not exactly." He lightly touched my back to guide me inside.

The grainy darkness behind my eyelids turned red. I blinked and instantly regretted it. A white glare blinded me. I squinted and raised one arm to shield my face.

I waited until the brightness dimmed to an acceptable level, then lowered my hands. I stood in a sunlit room that opened to the lake, but instead of black waves, the water was a glittering blue. There was so much color. Green trees. Dots of yellow and red flowers. Incandescent clouds. Brightly plumed birds. I turned my face to the sun. How I had missed the simple feeling of sunlight on my skin.

I felt like I had stepped in another world. In fact, the elegant furniture and the light colors of the room reminded me of the only other equally bright place in the Devildom: Lilith's room.

I turned to Lucifer and nearly took a step back. He had taken off both his coat and his jacket, and was rolling up his sleeves. He looked almost casual.

"What?" He raised one eyebrow.

"It's like in the dating-sim world. You're again doing the thing with looking all relaxed, you know, to catch me off-guard."

He smiled. "I didn't do it on purpose back then, and neither do I now. This is mine." He looked around. "Neither my brothers nor Diavolo know it exists. Or so I hope, as there isn't much Barbatos isn't aware off. It's a recreation of the Celestial Realm. Of course, it's an illusion, but I spent a lot of time perfecting it."

"The sun is so real. I feel like I haven't seen it in an eternity." I opened the doors to a large balcony. Even there, the illusion worked. The breeze was warm and I could hear the song of the wild birds.

"I thought you might like it." Lucifer placed a bottle of wine and two glasses on a table and motioned for me to sit down on a couch next to it.

I said, "So if this is your private space, what am I doing here?"

He handed me a glass and raised his own in a salut. "A lot happened in the last months. Secrets came out. People changed." He held his glass up to the light and admired the rosy glow. "Even demons changed, unusual as it might be. I suddenly felt like sharing this place with someone, and you seemed like the right person."

The red wine filled my stomach with heat. "Not your brothers or your Diavolo?"

Lucifer scoffed. "The whole point is to be away from my obligations, so why would I tell my boss? No. None of them would be appropriate. You on the other hand… Well, maybe you deserve a little gratitude. You might not realize it, but my most of the change around here is your fault."

Maybe it was only liquid courage that made me saz, "Didn't you call it meddling? Sticking your nose where it doesn't belong?"

"I did, and you did stick your nose where it didn't belong." His smile was halfway between rueful and relieved. "Maybe a little meddling was necessary."

The sunlight flowed around his face like a halo. For a moment I could imagine what he looked like before he fell. What did Simeon call him? Radiant. The most beautiful of angels. A star so bright, it is the first one you see at night and the last you see in the morning.

"Do you miss it? Heaven?" My own question made me flinch. Lucifer had hard boundaries. A moment of intimacy didn't mean he wouldn't throw me in the lake for crossing them, where Devildom fishes would feast on my flesh.

But he just looked outside, up to the blue sky and the white clouds. "Every day." He took a deep breath. "Not necessarily the place itself, though that too. I'm not sure this is something a human can understand, but every angel who resides in heaven is wrapped in our Father's love. It's not just some vague feeling, it is real. Tangible. It is joy, and safety, and truth. When I rebelled, he took that from us, and it was the worst pain I have ever felt." His face contorted, trying to conceal the pure anger and hate lying under his skin. In a quiet voice he said, "But there was no other choice."

Questions swirled in my mind. What other reasons besides Lilith did he have for his revolution? What happened in the war? I remembered the glimpses of a fight from Belphegor's dream and Satan's allusion to the atrocities he had committed. I refrained from asking. It felt like going down a road that would lead to a dark, dark place.

Instead I said, "Do you think that's what your brothers are doing? Filling that hole with shiny things, games, sex, food, and sleep?"

For a long moment, he kept staring into the distance, and when he looked at me, I wished he hadn't.

He said, "So in that scenario of yours, what do I do?"

I shrank back to my corner of the couch and hid behind my glass. "No, no, I'm not even touching that."

I didn't trust the red gleam in his eyes. "Oh, _please_ enlighten me, I know you have thoughts on that."

I'd probably make him mad whatever I did, so I might as well forge ahead. Devildom fishes, here I came.

I said, "I think you didn't flee into distractions, you erected walls. You know, keeping things inside, not showing any regrets or fears you might have, because you think it makes you appear weak." Before he could react, I hastily added, "Not that I think you are. I think what you built here, the bond you created with your brothers, even with Diavolo, there's already a lot of love here, but you know, you could maybe… maybe climb your walls and show it a bit more." My heart was pumping as if I had just finished a marathon. All my muscles were tense.

Lucifer stared at me, the scarlet spots in his iris dancing like embers.

"You think I could show it more?" He slid along the couch, closing the distance I had created.

I opened my mouth, but my throat wouldn't allow any sounds to escape.

He placed a finger under my chin. It felt cool on my burning skin. "Then I will start with you."

He kissed me, and pleasure so intense it bordered on pain washed through my body. All my nerve endings seemed to fire at the same time. It was ecstasy. It was terrifying.

Then he withdrew. Gently, he brushed my hair back from my face and said, "That's enough for now."

I wanted to grab him, beg him to come back, to do whatever he wanted to me, and the fury of my own longing felt deeply unhealthy. I clenched my shaking hands into fists, dug my nails into my palms. Breathe. Breathe. Let the feeling pass.

Lucifer didn't say anything more or even look at me. I didn't want him to. I hugged my knees to my chest and looked out at the serene landscape beyond the windows. There were no more words this night. We just sat there, each lost in their own thoughts.

Lucifer's - if I dared call it that - love seemed to much to bear for one normal human. But maybe I was strong enough. Or maybe it wasn't right for me. Maybe Levi was, or Asmo, or Satan, or Belphie, or Mammon, or Beel. Or more than one. Or maybe none of them.

But that was for future me to decide.


End file.
